


How The Binch Stole Christmas (And Also Poppy's Heart)

by Closeted_Calliope



Category: Trolls (Movies 2016 2020)
Genre: Characters will be added as needed, F/F, Grinch AU, MASON THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT I HOPE YOURE HAPPY, Mostly follows the standard grinch plot with some moderate variations, Poppy as martha may whovier/betty lou who, also this is not gonna rhyme bc im not dr suess so like dont @ me, and creek as the mayor whos name i don't remember but it's not important bc hes an asshole, behold the grinch is now the binch, her names still barb but everyone calls her the binch bc theyre assholes ksajhdjhGhjjskdGFH, im writing this as someone with a lot of negative feelings for christmas so like beware lol, mildly homophobic comments from creek bc hes a cishet bitch, rated t for mild language and cartoonish violence, riff as max the dog (but hes not a dog), riff is straight up just a furry, specifically the live action grinch bc its horrible but also so freaking funny, starring barb as the binch, tiny diamond as cindy lou who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Closeted_Calliope/pseuds/Closeted_Calliope
Summary: Barb, or the Binch as she's more commonly referred to by the troll inhabitants of Pop Village, has always had a distaste for the Christmas season. And after years and years of being ignored at best and fearfully ran from at worst, she's decided she's had enough. Barb has decided that she, along with her faithful sidekick Riff, is going to steal their Christmas festivities and show the entirety of Pop Village that she is a force to be reckoned with.That is, of course, unless a spunky little pop troll and his kind and beautiful aunt are able to change her mind, and perhaps her heart.(Based on @solidburnreturned on tumblr's art)
Relationships: Queen Barb/Queen Poppy (Trolls)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 17





	1. An Introduction To The Binch

**Author's Note:**

> Mason I'm blaming you for everything, and Nick im blaming you as well for enabling me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Binch and her emotional support furry run out of food. Which unfortunately means going down to Pop Village during the most insufferable time of year.

Far off in the distance, hidden amongst the surrounding mountains, lived a small but thriving community known as Pop Village. In this little town loved the happiest creatures known to exist: the Trolls. The Trolls loved to party hard and had many many holidays where their overenthusiasim could be released from their tiny little bodies.

But out of all the holidays, there were none quite as important to the Trolls as Christmas.

Every year, when the snow flurried in from the north and the temperatures dropped to their lowest points, it was quite common to see them bustling around in the slushy streets, stringing decorations across buildings, racing from store to store trying to get the perfect gift for their loved ones, or perhaps challenging each other to intense snowball fights. As they passed each other on the streets, regardless of whether or not they knew each other, they'd exchange "Merry Christmas"es before continuing on their way.

Several Trolls were holding themselves up by their hair as they stuck ornaments and tinsel all around an enormous tree that towered over even the tallest of buildings, a big red star sitting atop the tallest point.

In a store known as Burgen's Bargains, chaos was rampant: Trolls were pressed up close to each other, struggling to shuffle past in differing directions. An overwhelmed register clerk struggled to grab the money being tossed at them and feed it into the register. A pair of particularly rowdy trolls were tugging at the same toy in an attempt it to claim it for themselves.

Amongst the commotion surrounding him was a man by the name of Guy Diamond. Humming quietly to himself as people passed by him and pressed against him, he checked off names on a piece of paper before looking up and frowning with concern, noticing he was missing something very important.

His concern dissipated when he saw a tall stack of wrapped gifts hobbling around, a pair of tiny feet scootering around beneath it. Guy smiled and gently took most of the presents away, revealing his son, Tiny Diamond, the smallest of all the trolls, looking up at him.

"Uh, Daddy," He started, visibly a little uncomfortable with the commotion and chaos around him, "Do we really need all of this?" Don't you think it's a little much?"

Guy smiled warmly at his son. "Well, of course it is, son! What better way to get into the spirit of the season?!"

Tiny returned a smile to his dad, hoping he didn't notice the doubt that streamed across his face. Something just wasn't sitting quite right with him this Christmas season.

Thankfully, Guy was too busy attempting to check out with the poor overworked cashier to notice.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While all the Trolls of Pop Village prepared for Christmas in the city below, a different troll made his steady trek up Mount Crumpit. Branch grunted as he made his way up the mountain. He shouldn't have volunteered to grab mistletoe at the top of the mountain for the Christmas festivities of the whole town, but when Mayor Creek had made that passive aggressive remark about how "it wasn't like he would be able to face the Binch anyway", he couldn't help but do it out of pure spite.

As the cold bit his nose and ears and he struggled to pull his feet out of the deep snow with each step, he felt himself regretting this choice. Still, he didn't want to go back empty handed and get an earful from Creek, so onward he climbed. 

Truth be told, Branch wasn't too worried about encountering the Binch. Sure, she was completely unpredictable given how little trolls actually saw her, and there were approximately a million different ways that she could potentially kill and/or eat him, but he did know that she, like him, was not much of a people person, and so it was unlikely that she was going to outright seek him out. Still, he was glad to have his trusty survival knife on hand in the event that he should cross her path.

He pulled himself up over a small rock ledge before freezing, but not from the cold.

There, right in front of him, was a door. There was only one possible answer to who the door belonged to, and where it led.

Branch silently considered his options. Knocking on the door was an absolute no; there was no telling what the Binch would do if he bothered her. Maybe if he went around and found another way up? Oh, but there was no guarantee that there was another way that didn't pass by her hideaway. Perhaps-

The door swung open and a green, fluffy face popped out. "What do you want?"

Branch screeched in fear and slipped off the rock ledge, falling into the snowbank below him. He struggled to pull himself out for a moment before tearing into a sprint down the side of the mountain.

Barb watched as he became smaller and smaller in the distance before shrugging and closing the door. 

_That's weird,_ she thought, _I didn't even need to bring out any traps before he ran off. Oh well, maybe next time._

A voice called down the hall, “Who was it? More annoying teenagers trying to instigate you?”

“Nah, just some guy that ran off as soon as I opened the door,” Barb explained as she made her way down the call into her lair. 

Her lair was a bit unconventional when compared to what one might think a lair would look like. It was based off of the natural floors, walls, and ceilings of the cave it was build in. Ziplines ran across the ceiling and from various floors, and an elevator shaft that let to all the main floors. At the bottom of the large cavern, there was a pair reclining chairs, with a lavender troll adorning big fluffy fake dog ears and an oversized beanie, eating a bag of stale chips. He looked up at Barb, standing atop one of the higher floors, with curiosity. "You didn't even need to use the traps?"

"Not even the fake monster! He just like, ran away. It was super weird, " Barb shouted down. "How are we doing on snacks, Riff?"

"Not great," He admitted with a shrug and a frown, "You ate a lot during your mental episode last night."

Barb scowled, glaring down at the troll from her perch. "It was not a mental episode!"

"Barb, you were crying in the shower for like two hours and then when you came out you stress-ate for like another 3 hours, and whether you want to call that an episode or not, now we only have a couple bags of stale chips left."

Barb groaned. "I _reeeeeeeaaaaaaaallly_ don't want to go down to Troll Village while they're like...... *this*."

Riff got up from his seat and stretched out his back and snarked, "You do like eating though. C'mon, grab your cloak, it'll only take like half an hour if we hurry."

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine," Barb whined as she ripped her cloak off a pair of mounted antlers she had dug out of the trash, "but afterwards we're totally messing with those idiots."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Merry Christmas!!"

"Oh yeah, ho ho ho and all that stuff," Barb mumbled to the random Troll passing her, avoiding eye contact through the holes of her poorly drawn mask. The Troll failed to notice the fallacies of her disguise and began happily trotting off before tripping over their own shoelaces.

"Oh no, they've fallen, someone better go help them," Barb said to no one in particular as the troll struggled to pick up their things. She turned to Riff, who had ditched his dog ears for the occasion and, to Barb's distaste, swapped out his beanie for a Santa hat. For 'blending in', he had said. She was definitely making him leave get rid of that before they left.

"Ok so you've tripped 4 people, given 6 children candy cane shanks, spooked off 5 people with your face and rearranged the the clothes in Bergen's Bargains so that one of the clothes were in the right area or on the right sized hangers. Can we go home yet?"

"Have a little patience, Riff," Barb smirked, grabbing him by the shoulders and gesturing to the scene surrounding them. "You see all these dumb little trolls so wrapped up in their little Christmas shopping, and the stupid lights and decorations everywhere that are just going to get thrown out on December 26th, and all the useless presents they're gonna use once and then forget about?"

"Yeah?"

"Well they've never treated us too kindly, so it's only right of us to return the favor."

"I-I mean, I guess so," Riff trailed off. 

"Now c'mon, there were some snowmen down the street that I wanted to knock the heads off of," She said with a grinn, dragging the apprehensive Riff behind here as Guy and Tiny Diamond walked by, their arms filled with presents and shopping bags.

Guy sighed contently and turned to face his son. "Isn't the holiday season just so magical, son?

Tiny shrugged. "I guess...."

Guy's face splashed with worry. "You _guess_?"

"Well, Daddy, I look around at you and Aunt Poppy and everyone else getting so kerbobbled about the presents and the decorations and the food......Doesn't it seem like we're overdoing it?"

Before Guy could respond, however, a scream ran throughout the streets. Branch darted between trolls trying to make their way through the town or just trying to hang up decorations. His eyes were wild, he was dusted in snow, and a few twigs were sticking out of his hair. He stumbled facedown in a snowbank right at the feet of the Diamonds.

"Branch? What happened to you?' Guy asked as he helped the troll regain his footing.

"I saw her myself! It was the Binch!!!" Branch cried out in fear.

At the sound of her name, every troll stopped what they were doing and gasped in terror. Ambient Christmas music that was playing suddenly cut out. A baby started wailing. At least 3 different trolls fainted as an anxious chatter ran throughout the streets.

"Did he really see the Binch!?"

"The Binch is here?!?!"

"What evils does she have planned?!?!"

"Yeah, yeah, what do you want?" Barb snarked before remembering that she was supposed to be in disguise and adding loudly, in a high pitched voice, "The Binch?!?! Oh No! Hide your children!"

A purple troll with blue hair and an extravagant cape (but strangely enough, no shirt) stepped out of the Pop Village Municipal Building with a scowl. "Did someone mention the Binch?"

Guy Diamond gulped. "It's Mayor Creek......"

Creek caught Branch's eye and he smiled condescendingly. "Oh, Branch," he drawled with passive-aggressive positivity, gesturing for the troll to come closer. As much as he hated Creek, he begrudgingly obliged so he didn't get an earful from Poppy later about not respecting their 'beloved mayor' (her words, not his).

Creek grabbed a hold of Branch's arm, perhaps a little too tightly, and whispered harshly in his ear, "I'm sure I don't need to remind you that this Christmas is the 1000th Trollibration? That this is the most important celebration of all time? I mean, it says right here in the rules of Pop Village," he pulled out a scrapbook from seemingly out of nowhere and read aloud, "Trollibration is a time most treasured to all trolls, as it represents not only all the past holidays of old, but also holidays of future celebration." 

Branch opened his mouth to talk back but was interrupted by Creek slamming the book closed in his face. Creek continued, "Now I want you to tell all these nice folks around us about how you were not, in fact, up on Mount Crumpit provoking the Binch, the one creature anywhere near here that could potentially ruin everything, into doing something awful, right?

"Actually I-" Branch noticed the warning look on Guy Diamonds face and sighed in defeat. He deadpanned, "Actually I was on Mount Crumpit looking for mistletoe, but then I got scared off by a bear. Yeah, that's right, it was just a silly old bear, and I was the scaredy-cat that totally made up seeing the Binch to save my precious ego." He punctuated the end of his statement with a grimace as he crossed his arms.

Creek grinned. "Oh yes, that sounds about right to me, what a relief," he replied patronizingly, giving Branch a 'friendly' pat on the cheek before turning and announcing to the crowd, "You heard the man, folks! There are no Binch problems here!"

A sigh of relief filtered through the crowd and before long everyone was back to doing what they had been doing before.

Barb rolled her eyes as she leaned down, made a snowball (with a little piece of ice inside, as a special Christmas present), and threw it up in an arch headed towards Mayor Creek. It landed square on his head and he stumbled around for a second before managing to get his bearings and looking around angrily to find out who had thrown that.

Barb and Riff snickered as they began to run off to their next location of mischief-making: the post office.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Daddy, I just don't understand," Tiny said as he watched his dad put letters into the mailboxes of various trolls, "Why doesn't anyone like to talk about the Binch?"

Guy rolled by on a ladder, sticking letters and small packages in mail slots as he passed. "Why is everyone so interested in the Binch these days?" He mumbled before looking at Tiny. "Well you see, son, the Binch is a troll, unlike any other troll but she still is one, that just doesn't like Christmas all that much. I mean, just look at her mailbox." He gestured to an empty mailbox covered in dust and cobwebs. "Not a single Christmas card, in or out."

"But why?"

"Well-" Guy was cut off by a commotion at the front desk, causing him to sigh in exasperation. "I gotta take care of this issue first, Tiny, why don't you go in the back and help me find some more stamps?"

Meanwhile, in the back, Barb chuckled as she swapped around mail between mailboxes. "This'll take them years to sort through!!!"

Riff found himself entranced by the shiny wrapping paper. Barb noticed this during her mail switching and gently bopped him on the head. "It's just gonna be thrown away at the end of the day, Riff. If you want some so bad, just wait 'till they dump it up our way in a few days.

Riff rubbed his head. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I am, now come help me mess up the mail before-"

The doorknob rattled, and before Riff could say something about needing to hide, Barb had already tucked him under her arm and jumped into the corner of the ceiling like a bat, her feet precariously perched on two small outdents in the wall.

The door swung open, and Tiny Diamond hopped down from the doorknob. Being so small did have its difficulties sometimes. He warily eyed the sorting machine coming through the floor. He could only imagine what would happen if he fell down there, so he'd have to be extra careful. 

Tiny began peeking around the room, trying to find out where the stamps would be. By some miracle of chance, he failed to notice the two trolls hanging in the ceiling corner. 

There was a slight crinkle beneath Tiny's feet. Upon inspection, it was a few letters and..... a paper troll mask???"

 _Shit_ , Barb mentally swore as she began to sweat bullets. In her haste, she hadn't noticed it fall off.

Thankfully, Tiny seemed more interested in the letters than her mistake. He looked at the mailboxes that seemed to tower far above him. At his height, there was no way he was going to be able to reach those. Luckily, he was used to this.

With little effort, Tiny took aim and frisbee-d the letter into its proper slot. It landed in perfectly.

He began to dance about, periodically flinging the mail where it was supposed to go. It was almost like he was playing music in his head, not that Barb or Riff could hear it. Still, his dance moves were surprisingly remarkable despite his young age and short stature. And his aim was perfect as well, each letter sliding into its mailbox without missing even once.

"Woah, impressive," Riff muttered.

Barb slapped her hand over his mouth, but it was too late.

Tiny spun around and looked up to find two trolls, one fluffy, green and mean-looking, and the other trapped in her grasp, so naturally he screamed in fear. 

Barb screamed back to assert dominance as she hopped down from the ceiling and dropped Riff to the ground.

Tiny stammered, "You're the... the... the... the-"

Barb echoed him mockingly with a mean smile, "The- the- the..... THE BINCH!!!" 

Tiny fearfully took a step backwards, which unfortunately sent him falling headfirst, screaming, into the sorting machine. 

Barb watched this display and hummed. "Always great to see when loose ends tie themselves off. Welp, c'mon, Riff, we still need to pick up snacks." 

She turned to leave but Riff grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around, looking a tad worried. "Are you kidding me, Barb?!? We're just gonna leave him there?!?"

As if illustrate his point, Tiny cried out, "Help!!! Somebody please help me!!!!" 

"But..... our work here is done? We can just leave??" 

Riff stared at her in annoyed astonishment. "You're just gonna let this _literal child_ get potentially seriously hurt by this machine?" He asked incredulously.

"Dude this kid ain't our problem! If you want to help him so bad, why don't you do it yourself?"

"You *know* that I'm sensitive about my weak arms, Barb!!" Riff whined, pulling his Santa hat further over his face.

"Ugggggghhhhhhh, you and your bleeding heart!" Barb groaned as she reached into the sorting machine, felt around a little bit, and pulled the small troll out by his feet.

As she plopped him down on the floor, Tiny couldn't do much other than stare in astonishment at what he was looking at. It was really her..... the Binch..... and she.... saved him?

"Next time be more careful, you little twerp!" She growled, her entourage nodding in agreement. "Next time I might not be theree to save you!"

Tiny nodded intensely, his words escaping him in the presence of such a local mystery.

The Binch turned and began to leave, her little friend following in close pursuit, but before she could open the door to leave, Tiny managed to squeak out, "Thank you for saving me, Miss Binch."

The Binch stopped dead in her tracks. Her friend bumped into her before quickly stepping aside to give her more room. Tiny could feel his little heart racing as the Binch slowly turned around with a snarl on her face.

"You think I was trying to _save_ you back there?"

Tiny nodded with a gulp.

The Binch slowly waggled her finger at him. "Wrong-o, kid."

Her hands drifted towards an empty gift box.

"I just happened to notice that you were improperly packaged."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guy stepped into the back room, failing to notice the pair of trolls walking away from the back room's door. "Tiny? Where'd you go?" He called out.

"Daddy!"

Guy looked around the corner to find a perfectly wrapped gift box with a big red bow on top and a pair of tiny feet sticking out of the bottom. "Daddy!" It exclaimed.

"What-? Tiny?!" Guy rushed over to the little gift box and pulled open the bow. Inside, amongst a mass of tissue paper, was none other than Tiny Diamond himself. "Oh, Daddy! You're never gonna believe it! It was incredible! I-"

"You've been practicing your gift wrapping!!!" Guy interrupted gleefully, clapping his hands with excitement. "I'm so proud of you, son," he added as he pulled Tiny out of the gift box and into a hug. Tiny couldn't do much other than take the hug and tumble with the thoughts in his brain about the Binch. 

Like why had she saved him? Something didn't feel right about all this.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Branch!!"

Branch mentally groaned. He had spent all day back at Mount Crumpit, finally grabbing that mistletoe, and now he just wanted to go back home and sleep for the night, but, of course, Poppy wanted to hang out and chat. Still, she was one of his closest (only) friends, so he decided to humor her for a few minutes. "Hey, Poppy. What have you been up to all day?"

Poppy stood on the roof of the house she shared with her half-brother, Guy, and his son, wearing a bright red dress and a fluffy white capelet, with a Santa hat to match and her hands firmly planted on her hips. She looked down at Branch with a confident grin, so confident that Branch just knew that she was going to pull some over the top stunt.

"Oh, nothing much, just, you know, THIS!!!" She tugged on a nearby rope.

The entire house was suddenly bursting with colorful light. Branch actually had to shield his eyes a little bit, the light was so intense. There were inflatable Santas and snowmen on the roof and the lawn, at least 6 different Christmas trees, each with its own lights and decorations, and big multicolored lights hanging off the edge of every surface imaginable. It was truly a sight to behold.

"Wow, Poppy, you really went above and beyond this year," Branch remarked, trying so very hard not to make any snarky or backhanded remarks.

Poppy giggled, blushing. "Oh Branch, you flatterer, you're too kind. What did you end up doing for Christmas decorations?" 

Branch shrugged. "Oh, you know me, I'm not one for overly gratuitous decoration, but I, uh, I did manage to come up with a little something...." He reached into his pocket, pulled out a remote, and pressed one of the buttons.

From next door, his house seemed to come to life. There were a few strings of plain white lights hanging from the edge of the roof and a single enlightened Christmas tree on the front lawn, but other than that his house remained dark. 

Poppy strained a smile. "Wow, Branch, that, uh, that really..... I like how it's remote controlled! That's really cool."

"You don't like them, do you?"

"I never said that!" She defended, crossing her arms. "I just think that maybe, and this is just an idea here, you could've gone maybe a teensy bit farther."

"Well, sorry for liking my decor a bit simpler, I guess," Branch snarked with a smirk as a sparkly silver car rolled into Poppy's driveway. As Guy and Tiny climbed out, Poppy waved at them from the roof. "Hey, Guy, Tiny!"

"Hey, Diamonds."

"Hello, Poppy and Branch!"

"Hey, Aunt Poppy! Hey, Branch!"

"What did you two do today?" Poppy asked as she sat on the edge of the roof, her legs dangling off the edge.

"Oh, you know, just a bit of last minute shopping before working at the post office for a bit. Did you work on this all day?"

"You know it! I think we'll win the Greater Pop Village Decoration Contest for sure this year!" 

"Your lights are pretty rad, too, Branch," Tiny piped up.

"Why, thank you, Tiny. See, Poppy," Branch grinned slyly, " _some Trolls_ like my decorating."

"I'm telling you Branch," Poppy playfully argued back as the Diamonds went back into the house, "it'll look a lot nicer if you let me help you out."

"Ok, Poppy, whatever you say," Branch said, shrugging off her assistance as he headed into his house, knowing fully well that his house would have at lease thrice as many lights it currently had when he woke up the next morning.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You got all the stuff?"

Riff held up the four bags of food, drinks, and snacks with a grin. "You know it."

"Good, that means we can finally go home," Barb said as she popped open the top of the trash chute.

Riff went to go climb inside but Barb held her arm out first. "Ditch the hat first."

"Baaaaarb-"

"You promised you would," Barb reminded him as she crossed her arms in irritation.

Riff sighed as he slipped his Santa hat off, revealing his regular beanie hidden underneath. Barb tore the hat out of his hands and threw it on the ground, stomping it into the snow a few times for good measure. 

Riff was glad for the beanie covering his rolling eyes as he proceeded to climb into the garbage chute, with Barb following close behind.

The physics of the trash chute were unusual, considering gravity went down but the chute brought them up, but Barb had long since stopped trying to make sense of it. Truth be told, it was one of the few things she liked about heading to or from Pop village, it was like a roller coaster ride. Sure, she and Riff would more often than not bump their heads or elbows on the sides, and it was difficult to stay upright, but it almost made interacting with Trolls worth it. Almost.

It wasn't long before they landed atop the garbage pile outside their cave entrance. Barb let out a loud whoop of excitement before rolling off the garbage pile. Riff also made his way off the pile with much less enthusiasm. 

A small gleam of light caught Barb's eye before she could head back to the cave. "Well, well, well, what's this?'

She reached into the garbage pile and pulled out a leather vest, adorned with spikes in the shoulders and with a big rainbow patch on the back. 

Riff let out a whistle upon seeing it. "That's very you, Barb."

"Isn't it?! You know, that's what I'll never understand about those Trolls," Barb explained as she and Riff made their way back towards the cave, already putting on her sick new find, "How can someone just throw out a perfectly good thing like this?

Shrugging, Riff suggested, "Trolls just throw out whatever they deem unusable, even if it just needs a little fixing." He pointed out a small rip in the side. 

"Sucks for them, I guess, 'cause now we get all the good stuff," Barb replied, fist-bumping Riff as she opened the door and headed inside.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiny looked up at the ceiling in his bed, which had always been a bit too big for him, but now felt bigger than ever.

He couldn't sleep. There was no way he was gonna be able to sleep after what he saw today.

Tiny hopped out of bed and began to pace his bedroom floor. What was the big deal about Christmas? Why did it make everyone lose all common sense? Why did the Binch save him? Why had she tried to cover up her nice deed by being mean to him afterwards? And Why did the Binch hate Christmas so much?

His gaze dragged from the floor to the Christmas tree his dad had put up in his room for him a week ago. He knew that Christmas was supposed to make you feel a certain way, a good way, but for some reason, he just didn't feel anything particularly special. Was something wrong with him? Why couldn't he feel this Christmas magic he had heard so much about?

Outside the window, Mount Crumpit loomed far in the distance. Tiny climbed into his window seat and pressed his little face up against the glass.

What happened with the Binch to make people fear her so much? 

He had too many questions and not enough answers. 

_When morning comes_ , he decided, _that's going to change_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even like christmas why am I writing this? oh yeah that's right, because if i don't its going to bug me until it kills me. I wanted at least the first part to be posted before christmas so consider this yalls ongoing christmas present until its finished. hope you enjoy
> 
> -CC


	2. Binches of Christmas Past and Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiny Diamond sets out to learn more about the Binch, and Barb receives an invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is bad it’s bc I’m getting a little drunk as I’m sitting down to write more. But who knows, maybe that’ll make it funnier lmao

“Haha!” Barb kicked open the door to the cave with little effort.

Riff winced and mumbled, “If you kick it off the hinges again, I’m not fixing it this time....”

Barb rolled her eyes with a smirk as she grabbed his arm and dragged him inside, Riff shutting the door behind them. She reached around for a moment before finding the light pulley and yanking it down. 

The cave was illuminated with the glow of a hundred different lights: lamps, chandeliers, and nightlights that had all been rummaged out of the trash pile. 

Barb breathed in deeply through her nose, and a sigh of content made its way through her lips. “Nothing like coming home after a hard day’s work.”

She caught a spot of teal from the corner of the f her eye. It was an old campaign poster from when Creek had ran for mayor (the first time). She hadn’t planned on bringing it inside when she’d first found it in the garbage heap, but then Riff had given her an absolutely exquisite idea.

Riff picked up a pair of old empty glass bottles and held one out to Barb. Smiling evilly, she grabbed one and chucked it towards the poster. It smashed square on Creek’s face, the glass bursting from his eyes in tiny shards. 

Barb cackled triumphantly as Riff threw his own bottle. He missed the face, but it was still satisfying to watch the glass showering down from from his hair.

“Whoooo! Not bad, Riff,” Barb remarked. “Maybe next time you’ll be able to get him right in the kisser!”

Riff responded with a playful shove that sent them both laughing. 

Barb discarded her cloak on the antler stand and stretched out her back before hopping on her elevator-contraption. As Riff climbed in with her and pressed the button to go down, Barb shoved her hands in the pockets of her new vest and proclaimed, "Those Trolls may be getting harder to spook each year, Riff, but we did our worst and that's what matters. I mean, we scared that kid at the post office pretty bad, huh?"

Riff nodded. "I'm sure he'll need therapy for the rest of his life because of us." 

"Weird he didn't rat us out though. Must be afraid of us coming back."

'Mmm-hmm," he agreed.

Barb noticed Riff's beloved fake dog ears hanging from a hook on the side of the wall and had an idea, an idea which carved a smirk into her face. She grabbed them and brandished them in front of her, watching as his face light up in excitement.

"You want the ears?!?" She taunted playfully, as one would do with a dog. Riff's face broke into an overjoyed grin. "You want the ears, buddy? Huh? You want them? Go FETCH!!!" She hurled her arm over Riff's head and he bounded off down the hall, excited to get his ears back.

"Dumbass furry," Barb chuckled as she looked down at the ears still in her hand.

Placing them on her head for the sole reason of freeing up her hands, she took a running start to one of the ziplines and hopped on, zooming her down right into her favorite recliner. She removed the ears, placing them on a small table next to the recliner and sighed as she eased into her seat. She reached into a small bowl on the table and pulled out a few pieces of rock candy, handmade by Riff, and popped them into her mouth.

Riff turned the corner into the room and said nothing, just stared at her with his hands planted on his hips and his face reeking of disappointment.

Barb rolled her eyes and groaned over-dramatically, but still grabbed the ears and held them out to her friend.

Riff stamped over and tore the ears from her grasp. "Thank you," he mumbled before walking to his own chair, a torn old loveseat, and picked up the sewing he had started earlier.

"Honestly, Riff," Barb started, her eyes closing as she relaxed, "I don't know why we ever leave this place."

"Because you hate eating secondhand food."

Barb ignored him and continued, "I've got all the company I'd ever need right here."

Riff looked up from his sewing. "So like, does that include me? Or like, are you pretending that you don't need anyone else to be happy again because you don't want people getting to close to you because you've had bad emotional experiences in the past?"

Barb had never been so happy for her thick green fur covering her blushing face as she sat up indignantly and snapped, "I _don't_ need anyone else to be happy!!"

"Ok, fine, forget I asked." Riff raised his hands in surrender, knowing better than to poke an angry bear, before going back to his sewing.

Barb's face fell and, worried that she maybe went a little too far, added quietly, "You don't count as anyone though," and propped her head up on her elbow resting on one of the chair's arms.

Riff didn't look up or say anything, answering only in a small smile crawling on his face.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiny rang the doorbell and waited patiently on the front step. He really hoped this man would be able to help him.

The door opened to show two men; one was much younger than the other, about in his 20s or 30s, with a mullet and a bored expression permanently sprawled across his face, while the other was much older and using a wheelchair, his hair frazzled and a smile that didn't seem to be focused on anyone on particular.

The younger one spoke up. "What can I do you for, kid? Did you come to read to Thrash for Troll Scouts?"

"Not today, sir, I'm here because I heard he knows things about the Binch," Tiny explained, holding up a newspaper that showed a picture of the Binch preparing to attack whatever unfortunate soul dared to try and photograph her. 

The young man grimaced. "Ooooooooh, kid I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Thrash is very old, and his memory's not all there. I'm not sure he would be able to-"

"Barbara?" Thrash's eyes lit up in realization, cutting the younger man off mid-sentence. "Oh, how I miss my dear Barbara, it's been so long since she's visited." His eyes were drawn towards his helper. "Sid, did I ever tell you about how I came to have Barbara?"

"Uhhhhhhhhh......." Sid looked at Tiny, who was gazing at Thrash in absolute awe. Sid gestured for Tiny to come inside as he said, "Actually, no, Thrash, you haven't told me about Barbara before."

Sid quickly but gently ushered Tiny into the living room, where he pulled himself onto the couch and whipped out his voice recorder. Sid then carefully pushed Thrash into the room, parking his wheelchair right next to the couch.

Thrash began, "Well, she came into town the way all troll babies do; on the calmest of nights, troll eggs will drop in from the sky in their trollsellas-"

"Where do trollsellas come from, though-?"

"You'll learn about it when you're older, kid," Sid interrupted with a whisper, "now shhhhh."

Thrash continued, unaware that anything else had been said, "It was a Christmas Eve, I think, and we had some strange winds blowing in from the east. I was throwing my annual holiday bash, and we partied so hard that it was morning before we found the poor dear waiting outside. Made her one hell of a cuddly baby though!" Thrash laughed long and hard at his own joke that tears were coming out of his eyes for a good minute. When he finally managed to calm himself down, his brows furrowed and he frowned. "What were we talking about again?" 

"You were talking about how you raised the Bi- uh, how you raised Barbara," Tiny reminded him.

Thrash smiled with recognition, muttering, "Ah, yes, that's right," before continuing. 

"I had always known she was a special baby. I do believe her first word was "Santa", and she grew up one of the most kind and adventurous souls I'd ever met. Of course, I'd raised her like any other Troll child; just because she looked a little different didn't mean I felt she needed to be treated differently, the way I saw it. And truly, I had never seen a troll so excited by Chrismas, especially how she chose to celebrate."

"How _did_ she like to celebrate?"

"Well, she'd always try to steal my guitars, no matter how well I thought I hid them, and she-she'd always sing the Christmas carols louder and more hardcore than any of the other Trolls," Thrash chuckled warmly. "Barbara had always been a bit of a prankster, and she loved getting the chance to make her mischief more holiday themed; why, she'd throw snowballs to any soul unfortunate enough to come within a 13 and a half foot radius, she'd set up snares out of string lights to surprise the folks passing by in the streets, and I believe one time she mailed herself in a gift box to her little school friend's house to surprise her. Barbara sure was a little troublemaker, but I loved her all the more for it."

Tiny anxiously asked, "Do you remember what made Barbara hate Christmas so much?"

Thrash's face suddenly fell, and his eyes grew distant. "Why she hated....." He trailed off.

Sid cut in, "Hey, Thrash? I think it's almost time for lunch!"

This brought the smile back to Thrash's face, though smaller than before, when he was talking about the Binch. "Lunch...."

Tiny recognized this as his cue to leave. He grabbed his things and had Sid escort him to the door. As he opened the door to leave, Sid added, "One more thing, kid? The only other thing Thrash will say about the Binch, when he's having a good day, at least, is that she ran away when she was a child and hasn't been seen since. But beyond, that, I can't really tell you much."

Tiny grinned up at the man. "That's more than enough. Thank you so much, and have a nice day!!"

And as Tiny ran off to conduct his next interview, Sid called after him, "Merry Christmas, kid!!!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Aunt Poppy, what do you know about the Binch?"

Poppy nearly did a spittake of her hot cocoa, but managed to choke it down before looking down at Tiny, her face filled more with surprise rather than disappointment or anger. "Hoooo, its been a while since I've heard that name, kiddo, uh, why do you ask?

Tiny nervously looked down at his feet for a second. He felt bad about interrupting Aunt Poppy's cookie baking for the Trollibration tonight, but he knew his dad wasn't going to give him any straightforward answers. So Aunt Poppy was his next best bet. 

He brought his gaze back up to Poppy, who was stared back with a hint of confusion on her face. Tiny announced, "I'm trying to figure out why the Binch hates Christmas so much, and why everyone seems so afraid of her. I mean, it just doesn't make any sense to me. 

Poppy smiled sympathetically at her nephew. "Well, it's not exactly a happy story, Tiny."

"How'd you know that?"

"Because used to go to school with her when we were a lot younger," Poppy explained as she place a tray of cookies into the oven.

"WHAT!?!?" Tiny was absolutely shocked.

"Do you want me to tell you the story?"

"Yes!" Tiny hopped into a chair next to the countertop.

"Even of it's not a happy story?"

"Yes! Oh, please Aunt Poppy! Tell me the story!!" Tiny could hardly contain himself as he pulled out his voice recorder. 

Poppy laughed as she began to mix a new batch, "Alright, alright, I'll tell you what I know." Tiny could hardly contain his excitement. Poppy began, "Ok so throughout most of elementary school, Barb- That's what she used to be called, at least- and I were pretty close friends. Sure, she never wanted to hang out or have sleepovers like some of my other friends, but I'll never forget the time she mailed herself to me just because she knew I was having a bad day. She'd always pull pranks on the other kids, but never on me for some reason, so I always just assumed that meant she saw me as her closest friend. But then," Poppy's face fell to a frustrated frown, "she had her incident, and then I didn't really see her after that." "What happened? What did she do?" "It was about fifteen or so years ago; our class was getting ready for our holiday party, and it included our gift exchange, where everyone would bring a special gift for someone they thought was special."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's actually kind of funny, you see," Creek giggled as he spoke to Tiny, having decided to humor the child's request to know more about the Binch, "I think the Binch was actually in love with Poppy!" He took a moment to calm himself down from a fit of laughter.

Tiny stared at him blankly, recorder still in hand.

Once he had calmed himself down, Creek continued, "This was ridiculous as Poppy was my girlfriend at the time, and I knew she would never leave me for someone like the Binch. Now you see, I don't like talking about the Binch so close to Christmas, but I hope that maybe you'll understand why once I explain what happened that day."

Tiny felt an extreme bias coming on.

"So I decided that I would help the Binch out: help her get into the Christmas spirit."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I remember Creek went up to her and told her how no girl her age should have that much facial hair." Poppy winced at the memory as she began mixing the cookie dough with her hands. "At the time, I thought it it was just all in good fun but as i grew up, I realized how terrible of a thing that was to say to someone, especially an 8 year old.

Tiny nodded sympathetically.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She was just so _hairy_ ," Creek explained, putting extra stress on that last word. "It was not pleasant to be around her. I mean, no one should have that much hair as a kid, and she just shed like _all the time_. It was just.........unnatural."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Even if I didn't understand the severity of his words, I still knew that Barb was pretty bummed, so- and I remember this crystal clear- I walked right up to her after class and I said, 'Barb, you don't need to listen to Creek. He doesn't understand that you're one of the most beautiful Christmas colors, and that overrules any bad parts about you. Plus, I love your hair! It's very nice and warm and great for hugging when it's cold out!' And to make sure she knew how much I cared, I gave her a great big hug afterwards. But did I have a crush on her? No, we were just good friends."

"Uhhh, Aunt Poppy?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"I didn't ask you that."

Poppy froze mid-cookie formation and her face burned a bright red. "Oh, haha......"

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So I guess she'd stayed up all night making a special present for Poppy," Creek drawled, inspecting his fingernails with disinterest. "I mean it was just an angel tree topper, nothing special, anyone can buy one of those nowadays." 

He smirked and added, "Though that wasn't the real shocker of that day....."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So everyone else had already handed out their gifts, but then Barb announces she hadn't given her gift yet. She'd been hiding in the back of the class the whole time; I honestly thought she hadn't come into class at first. So she sets down the most beautiful tree topper I'd ever seen and says, "Merry Christmas, Poppy!" I was overjoyed, and I don't think anyone had ever put so much effort into a present for me before."

Tiny asked, "Do we still have the tree topper?"

Poppy involuntarily sucked air in through her teeth, "So here's the thing...... the whole time she had been wearing a bag over her head. When the teacher asked her to take it off........."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She was totally covered in all these shaving cuts all over her face," Creek sneered. "Like it was a total hack job. One of the funniest things I've ever seen."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Everyone started laughing at her, even the teacher! I was absolutely appalled at how everyone could be mean to our classmate, our friend!" Poppy sighed as she replaced the cookies that had just finished baking with the ones that needed to be baked. "And I think that there, with everyone laughing at her, Barb finally broke.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Next thing I knew, she'd thrown her dumb angel across the room, ripped the garlands from the wall and thrown the Christmas tree at all the other kids!" Creek shook his head in fear as he remembered. "I'd never seen so much anger from one troll....."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'd never seen one person hold a Christmas tree up by themselves before," Poppy said in awe, "Especially as an 8 year old. I wonder how much Barb can lift now....."

"Aunt Poppy-"

"Right! Of course, I'm getting sidetracked. So in her fit of rage, with everyone else running around and panicking, she turned back to look at me, and I think she wanted to say something, but she just left and I haven't really seen her since. The tree topper got destroyed in her anger, but I think I ended up keeping the pieces in a box somewhere. I just felt too bad letting all her hard work get thrown out."

"So you don't think the Binch is a monster waiting to hurt people?"

Poppy seemed almost offended that he would ask. "Of course not! I just..... think she's lonely and hurting and has dealt with a lot of bad things in the past. I'd love to help her if I could, but I don't even know if she'd want to see me after all this time. I mean, it's not like I helped her stand up to those other kids or anything."

Tiny contemplated this for a moment. "....What would you tell Barb if she was willing to meet with you?"

Poppy thought about this as she moved the cookies to the cooling rack with her spatula. "I think I'd say....... that I'm sorry for not reaching out to her sooner and for not sticking up for her, and I'd ask if she'd want to try being friends again."

"......Okay but would you ask her out?"

"I don't have to answer that question, now run along so I can focus on frosting these."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Barb was 10 again. She'd been living atop Mount Crumpit for about 2 years now, but that didn't make things any easier. Every day she'd go outside in the freezing cold, trying to find something to eat, or maybe something she could use to make her cave a little more comfortable, in the stupid Trolls' stupid junk pile._

__

_She hated this, she really did. Why did *she* have to dig through the Trolls' trash just to survive when *they* were the ones that wronged her??? It just didn't make any sense, and it wasn't fair. Still, she needed to feed herself somehow, and so she continued to rummage._

__

_This day in particular day, however, as she headed towards the trash pile, she found something she'd never seen before in the trash: another troll._

__

_He looked to be her age, maybe a year or so younger, and he was a pale purple color with stringy black hair poking out from underneath a beanie that was way too big for him. He seemed to be wearing....... fake dog ears and a dog tail? And most notably of all, he was crying so hard, his little body shook with every sob._

__

_Barb wasn't sure what she should do, so she acted without thinking. "Hey, kid, are you ok?"_

__

_The kid's head jerked towards her, his eyes hidden but his cheeks unmistakably tear-stained. At the sight of her, he yelped and used his arms to shield himself as he cried out, "Ahhhhhh! Please don't eat me, Binch!!!!"_

__

_"What the heck are you talking about kid?" Barb stomped over to the where the kid sat and yanked one of his arms away. "What is- stop screaming, I'm asking you a question- what is a Binch???"_

__

_The kid stopped yelling out of shock. He looked up at Barb incredulously. "Y-you mean, you're not-t the B-Binch?" He stammered, wiping the tears from his cheeks._

__

_Barb shrugged. "I don't know, I've never even heard of the Binch before."_

__

_The kid sniffed and scooted cautiously towards Barb as he explained, "Well, the older k-kids at school say that there's a monster that lives at the t-top of Mount Crumpit, and that she eats all the garbage, but what she really craves is the taste of Troll Flesh!" He raised his arms menacingly to punctuate his sentence._

__

_"Have any of these older kids even seen this Binch?" Barb asked, unconvinced of this creature's existence._

__

_"Well, this one guy said that one time, his family came up here to pick mistletoe, and the this big green furry creature called the Binch popped out and tried to eat his family. Most of them got away but they say the Binch ate his cousin."_

__

_Barb couldn't help but burst out laughing. The kid insisted angrily, "It's not funny! If we're not careful the Binch is gonna sneak up on us and gobble us up!"_

__

_Shaking her head, Barb looked this kid in the face. "I'm the only one that's lived up here for the past two years, if there was a Binch i would've seen it by now."_

__

_"...Oh."_

__

_"Besides, if you're so scared of the Binch, why'd you come up here in the first place?"_

__

_The kid winced and curled himself into a little ball, mumbling, "The older kids at school threw me up the garbage chute."_

__

_"What?! That's horrible, why would they do that?"_

__

_"Because I said I wanted to be a dog when I grow up."_

__

_"A dog????"_

__

_"Yeah.... I know it's weird, just make fun of me already so you can leave me alone." The kid tucked his head between his knees._

__

_Barb paused for a moment before sitting down in the garbage beside him. "It's a little weird, but weird doesn't make it a bad thing. In fact, I think it makes you super cool!"_

__

_The kid looked up. "R-really?"_

__

_"Sure! I mean, if the Trolls think you're weird, that makes you the perfect person to become my new best friend!"_

__

_"It does?"_

__

_"Yeah! We can work together and make those Trolls regret ever making us feel bad!"_

__

_A smile grew on the kid's face. "Yeah.......yeah!" Barb stuck out her hand for the kid to take and pulled him to his feet as he triumphed, "We're gonna make them wish they never hurt us in the first place!"_

__

_"Do you want to come to my house?" Barb asked. "It's real cold outside. Plus, I found some pizza yesterday, and I think I still have a few pieces left over!"_

__

_"Yeah! My name's Riff by the way!"_

__

_"I'm Barb! Now c'mon, before your toes freeze off!"_

__

_And so Riff ran after Barb, following her into what would be his new home._

Barb awoke with a snort. She hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep. And when she looked over at Riff, his sewing lying limply in his hands and his heead lolling forward, she could tell that he hadn't either. She stood up and stretched out her back; it always got cramped when she slept in that chair.

Her ears perked up, hearing the faintest of sounds coming from the town below.

Barb climbed her way out of the cave and stopped at the little stone ledge her front door sat on. She could hear the sounds of celebration and bells and music sweeping up the side of the mountain, hitting her with a frightening realization.

"It's the Trollibration," She muttered to herself. "Tomorrow is Christmas. Oh, god, it's practically here."

Well, that simply would not do.

"RIFFFF! WHERE'S THE BENADRYL??????"

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, in Pop Village, Trollibration preparations were in full swing, with trolls everywhere dressed in their most festive costumes, singing and dancing down the street, and wishing well towards every person they passed.

As the Diamonds, Branch, and Poppy made their way towards the center of town, Tiny looked up at his dad and started, "Hey, Daddy?"

Guy, who was more focused on making sure the massiv plate of Poppy's cookies that he was holding didn't topple over, absently responded, "Yeah, son?"

"About the Trollibration; I think I'm going to do something drastic."

"Sounds great, son, just ask your aunt first."

Tiny knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon, Branch was too busy arguing with her ("Why did you have to add so many extra lights? I'm gonna be taking down decorations until August!!" "Oh Branch, I just added a little extra sparkle, it wasn't anything too drastic." "MY HOUSE DOUBLES AS A LIGHT BEACON TO OVERHEAD AIRSHIPS, POPPY.")

As the townsfolk gathered in the town square, Tiny watched as Poppy politely excused herself from her discussion with Branch to go stand up by the podium with Mayor Creek. Upon spotting Tiny looking at her, she gave a friendly little wave as Creek approached the podium and tapped the mics to get everyones attention.

Creek flashed a bright grin. "Citizens of Pop Village, it's time for your nominations for the Troll that we feel best express our Troll values: the Troll Holiday Cheermeister!!!" 

The crowd burst into applause and cheers as Poppy removed a sheet to reveal a fantastic trophy: silver and large and expressive of holiday cheer.

As he settled down the crowd, Creek asked into the microphone, "Do I hear a nomination?"

"I nominate the Binch!!!"

Gasps of shock and fear resonated through the crowd as everyone turned to see who would dare say such a thing. Tiny stood as tall as he could muster as the crowd realized it was him who nominated the Binch.

Creek chuckled condescendingly and remark, "You really have quite an altruistic son there, Guy."

Guy smiled sheepishly. "Thanks..."

"Well, Tiny...." Creek beckoned him over to the podium.

Struggling with the weight of everyone's eyes glued to him, Tiny slowly but surely made his way over. He looked over at Poppy, hoping she could somehow give him strength, and was relieved to see her giving him a reassuring smile.

As he arrived at the podium, Creek knelt down to his height and explained, "You see the rules of Pop Village explicitly state that those who are referred to as Binchy are considered to be lacking in Christmas Spirit, and I'm not sure about you, but I don't think that sounds very Cheermeister-y."

"You may be right, Mr. Mayor," Tiny admitted, "but the rules of Pop Village also say that no matter how different a troll may appear, they will always be welcomed with holiday cheer. And I'm not sure about you, but I can't think of anyone more deserving of some holiday cheer than the Binch."

"He's right, you know," Poppy chimed in. "If anyone in this town deserves to feel the warmth of the holiday season, it's the Binch. She's had some Christmas cheer overdue for a while now, don't you think?"

A murmur of agreement flooded through the crowd, and Tiny watched as Creek's eyebrow flinched ever so slightly. He cleared his throat. "Well actually, Tiny Diamond, the law also says that it is illegal for the Binch to become the Cheermeister."

"Oh really?" Tiny challenged. "Show me where it says that."

"W-well, I, uh-"

"You made it up didn't you, Creek?" Branch yelled with a smirk.

"I did not!!" Creek yelled back, his suave persona fading.

"Even it it is in the book," Tiny continued, "the book also says that the Cheermeister is the Troll who needs the warmth and support of the whole town. And I don't think anyone needs it more than the Binch does." He turned to face the crowd. "Who's with me?"

He was met with thunderous applause and cheers. Tiny noticed Guy whooping loudly and yelling "That's my boy!!!" to anyone that he could get to listen.

"Fine, fine, the Binch is the Cheermeister," Creek said with annoyance into the mic, resulting in another boom of excited cheers. "But if she doesn't come down, as I suspect she won't, I'm going to wear the Cheermeister crown."

Of course the Trolls were too busy celebrating to really care about that last part.

"Nice work, Tiny," Poppy said as she walked up to Tiny, "You really know how to spread Christmas cheer!"

Tiny grinned enthusiastically. He couldn't wait to tell the Binch the good news.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barb debated smashing here head into the wall as the sound of Christmas music floated through the cave. She laid in her bed, eyes focused on the ceiling, trying oh so hard not to allow the words to get stuck in her head. And that's when she noticed she was already subconsciously mouthing the words. 

"DAMMIT!!!"

"You good, Barb?" Riff called from down the hall.

"I'M ABOUT TO RIP MY OWN EARS OUT!" She screeched, wrapping a pillow over her ears in a vain attempt to soften the music.

Riff walked into her bedroom holding her old busted up electric guitar.

She sighed. "Thank you, Riff." She took the guitar from him, plugged it into the nearest amp she could find, and just started shredding. She knew that half the chords she was playing sounded awful together. She didn't care if the noise that came out was good or not, she just needed to be loud. 

She could still hear the goddamned music.

"Turn it up, Riff!" She demanded. Riff obliged, cranking the amp up to its highest setting.

She continued to shred, barely noticing when a string broke mid-chord.

Meanwhile, on the side of Mount Crumpit, Tiny Diamond walked by himself, steadily and carefully making his way upward. He didn't want to risk falling and slipping the whole way down like a sled. 

Still, Tiny was determined to tell the Binch of her nomination. He knew he was the only Troll brave enough to do it (except for maybe Poppy, but she had last minute Trollibration preparations to attend to). 

Before long, he had managed to reach her front door, a doormat saying 'Screw Off!' placed right in front. Tiny could hear loud noises coming from inside, mostly really bad electric guitar sounds. 

He timidly knocked on the front door and called out, "Miss Binch?"

There was no reply, but there was a doggy door. Tiny tried pulling on that, smiling when it opened with no resistance and climbing inside. "Anyone home?" He asked as he broke into the Binch's house. 

He walked down a hallway and found himself standing at the top of a large cavern. At the very bottom, he saw the Binch in all her green, hairy glory, going absolutely HAM on a very broken electric guitar. She didn't notice when Tiny maneuvered his way down a nearby ramp and stood practically behind her. 

The other troll, the one he saw in the post office, did notice looking up from the vest he was sewing up. Other than the dog ears, he seemed like just a regular troll. He gave only a half-hearted pair of horns before looking down and continuing his work. 

Carefully, as though not to disturb her, he gently patted the side of one of her legs and said, "Excuse me?"

Barb stopped immediately, standing perfectly upright. She yeeted the guitar away, most likely damaging it beyond repair before turning and looking down at the gremlin that stood before her.

"Hello, little boy," she greeted coldly. Suddenly she took an angry step towards him and yelled, "You dare enter the Binch's Lair?!? The AUDACITY!"

Tiny looked at her expressionlessly as she continued to boom, "I hope you're ready to reap what you've sown, kid! BEHOLD, AND GAZE INTO THE FACE OF TERROR!!" 

Undeterred in the slighted, Tiny introduced himself. "Miss Binch, my name is Tiny Diamond."

"Impressive brave face, kid," Barb snarked, "but it's not going to stop the fear from welling up inside you."

"But I'm not scared."

"Oh, they always deny it at first, but it doesn’t take long for their cover to begin to crack." Barb got right up in Tiny's face and let out a long and horrible scream.

"......Are you done?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Do you need to like cool down for a second so we can talk like rational people?"

Barb looked at Riff and deadpanned, "I swear to god, kids today..."

Riff shrugged and continued to sew Barb's vest.

She turned back to Tiny and yelled directly in his face, "WHAT DO YA WANT, KID!?!?!"

Tiny straightened himself up and told her will a cheery smile, "Miss Binch, I've come to invite you to become the Holiday Cheermeister for this year's Trollibration!" 

"Holiday Hoe-what now?"

"Cheermeister!" He held out an invitation for her to take. 

She snatched it away in one quick movement, reading aloud, "Cheermeister: celebrate with friends..."

She let out a nasty snicker and threw the invitation on the ground. "Honestly, you really got me there for a second, kid, not a bad joke," she sneered as she began to walk away.

Tiny picked the paper up and followed after her. "I know you hate Christmas, but it might all just be a big misunderstanding!" He tried to explain. 

"Don't know and don't care."

"I mean, I myself am struggling to find the reason for the season!"

"Not my problem."

"And i just think that if you spend time celebrating with the town-" 

"Grow up, kid."

"-then maybe Christmas will start to make sense for me too!"

"Sorry, I'm not your therapist, tell your issues to someone who cares."

"C'mon, you need to accept this award!"

She paused. Now this piqued Barb's interest. She turned around to face the child. 

"Award?" She inquired. She leaned in real close to his face and reiterated, "I was unaware that there was.... _an award_."

Tiny smiled enthusiastically. "Yeah! There's a trophy and everything!"

"And I won this award?"

"You won!!"

Barb grinned. "So there were losers."

"I mean I guess, but-"

"A WHOLE TOWN FULL OF LOSERS!!" Barb leaned back and punched the air in victory. Once she had gotten some of her energy out she planted her hands on her hips and sighed "I do like the sound of that." 

She turned back to Tiny. "Did this give anyone emotional trauma?"

"I mean, the mayor wasn't happy-"

Barb cackled maliciously and mocked, "Ohhhhh nooooo, not pooooor Creek!"

"And Poppy's gonna be there."

Barb froze mid-cackle. "P-Poppy????"

"Yeah! She's my aunt! She told me that she used to know you and that she looks forward to seeing you again.

Barb couldn't suppress a giddy giggle. "She- she wants to see me again?" 

"Yeah! She said she missed you a lot!"

Barb damn near short-circuited upon hearing that. She barely noticed Tiny asking, "So are you gonna come???"

"Oh fine, I guess so."

Tiny's face lit up with joy. "Really?"

"Oh sure," Barb insisted, leading him back to the door. "I mean who knows, maybe this will be the catalyst to me becoming open about my feelings and accepting who I am as a person. Maybe I'll even move back to Pop Village and become a thriving member of society. I don't know if it's the happy little sparkle in your eye," Barb stood the child right in front of the door, "but you've really convinced me to try this."

Tiny glowed as he asked, "You really mean it?"

"Haha, not a chance." Barb pulled the rope to the trapdoor, sending the kid racing down the garbage chute back towards the town, making sure to call "LATER, LOSER!" after him. 

In the other room, Riff physically couldn't stop himself from facepalming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so i wrote this a lot soberer than I was expecting but I did it all in one day so I'd say that's an accomplishment in itself. Also it's really hard to take this fic seriously when i have to keep saying "the Binch". My wrists really hurt now so im gonna go before i get carpal tunnel. See yall next time
> 
> -CC


	3. The Trouble at the Trollibration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barb reluctantly goes to the Trollibration, but things go much worse than expected. However, at least she gets a nasty idea out of all the trouble she went through....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so Nick (@spaloonbabooguuscooties on tumblr and the main one enabling me into writing this fic) drew some Grinch! Barb art (not even necessarily because of or relating to this fic, they just did for funsies) and its so freaking good so im gonna force y'all to look at it before reading this chapter. or don't like Im not the boss of you.

Tiny squealed as he slid down the garbage chute, a giggle escaping him every now and again. It wasn't all that scary beyond not knowing exactly where he was going, to be honest; it felt just like going down a huge slide, just with a bit more trash he passed every now and then.

He suddenly found himself popping through the hatch in down and flying through the air for a moment before landing on his back in a little snow bank. Tiny couldn't help but laugh in exhilaration as he sat up and attempted to brush some of the snow off of himself.

"Tiny! There you are!" Guy Diamond came running over to help his son stand up. "I've been looking for you everywhere! What are you doing? Son, you can make snow angels later, we have to go to the Trollibration now! We can't be late!!!"

Tiny didn't bother correcting his dad and just allowed himself to be lead by the hand towards the town square.

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Barb was still cackling nastily as Riff came over to see the commotion. He ignored her practically pissing herself laughing and walked over to the invitation, forgotten on the floor and picked it up. Barb's laughter immediately died down as Riff handed the invitation out for her to take.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me, Riff."

"It might be fun~," Riff sing-songed as he scooted closer to Barb, a deceivingly innocent smile on his face.

"Or, and I'm just throwing out ideas here," Barb countered, "maybe it will be the worst thing I've ever been to and it will traumatize me for years to come!"

Riff stared at her, incredulous. "You're telling me that you want to throw away this once in a lifetime chance to not only have the people who hurt you in the past essentially grovel at your feet for a night, but also possibly spent some quality time with the girl you've been in love with for the last 15-"

"SHSHSHSHHSSSSHSHHSHHH!" Barb slapped her hands over his mouth in a frenzied panic before he could finish that sentence. "Somebody could hear you!!!"

"You mean other than us or the kid you already got rid of?" Riff challenged, slightly muffled from Barb's hand. 

Barb didn't answer, just groaning, snatching the invitation out of Riff's grasp and making her way for her recliner.

"I swear, those Trolls' got some nerve inviting me down there," She huffed, slamming herself into the seat. "And on such short notice!" She whipped out a book from her chair-side table. "I don't think my schedule will allow this, even if I did want to go, WHICH I DONT."

"Since when do _you_ of all people keep a schedule?" Riff asked as he headed over to his own seat, slumping in lazily.

Barb ignored him and began to list off her own plans. "4:00, wallow in self pity-"

"Oh my god."

"4:30, stare into the abyss-"

"Barb you have got to be kidding me."

"5:00, solve world hunger...." She made direct eye contact with Riff and added, "TELL NO ONE," before looking back at her book.

"Jesus Christ, Barb...." Riff shoved his face in his hands out of exasperation.

"5;30, shred some sick chords, 6:30, dinner with me, now I can't cancel that again, Riff." She looked at him like she was expecting him to agree with her.

"Okay, that one's fair enough, I'll admit."

"7:00, wrestle with my self loathing..... I'm totally booked! Of course if I bump the loathing down to 9:00 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and decend slowly into madness."

Riff rolled his eyes from under his beanie.

"But what would I even wear?!?"

"Hmmmm..... maybe a nice dress?" Riff suggested.

The two shared a look before they both burst into a fit of laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of the idea. 

"Hahahaaha, no."

"Never in a million years," Barb agreed, pulling herself out of her chair and heading for the mass pile of clothes she'd acquired over the years. She tore through the clothes, throwing the over her head and muttering, "Lame.......unflattering.......not my style...... AUGHHSGH!!!" She groaned as she belly-flopped into the pile.

Riff came over as Barb popped her head up and whined, "This is ridiculous! If i can't find something cool to wear, I'm not going!"

Riff looked into the pile for a moment, dug around for a moment and pulling something out, asking "What about this?"

It was a pair of finely embroidered lederhosen shorts. They were fancy, but not to the point of compromising comfort.

Barb smirked at the sight of them. "Remember when we stole these off that yodeler?"

Riff sighed fondly at the memory, "There really was nothing better than watching him run down the side of the mountain in just his underwear." He tossed the lederhosen to Barb.

She snatched them out of the air in one fell swoop and quickly jumped inside them. This was made easier due to the fact that she was aleready wearing a distinct and noticeable lack of clothes. She added the socks and shoes she had also taken from the yodeler to really add to the look.

Riff gave her a thumbs up. "Not bad," He complimented as she went to go take a look at herself in the shattered mirror. 

She looked hot. That was one thing she knew for absolute certain. This was an absolute look. 

"That's it. I'm not going," She growled as she turned on her heel and headed for her bed.

Unfortunately, it wasn't perfect, and the only way she was going down there was if she looked perfect. She didn't want to risk looking like a fool in front of Poppy after seeing her for the first time in 15 years. 

"What if you added the vest?"

Barb stopped dead in her tracks. Now there was an idea..........

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Tiny watched from atop his dad's head as a band played cheerful Christmas music. He watched as Mayor Creek made his way to his podium and waved to the townspeople. The crowd cheered with excitement until he raised his hands, implying that it was time for them to stop.

"Yes, yes, I know we're all excited to crown this year's Holiday Cheermeister of the year!!!" Creek announced, reveling in the excitement that burst form the crowd. 

Tiny wrung his hands anxiously as he looked around. He noticed Poppy, wearing her most extravagant holiday dress, staring at the spot Barb was supposed to be standing to receive her award, and Branch was placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, but, uh..." Creek frowned, pretending to look around the crowd for someone. "...It would appear that the Binch has failed to show up." 

A hushed murmur fell over the crowd.

Creek laughed patronizingly as he addressed the crowd, "Oh, come now, don't look so disappointed. Did we _really_ expect the Binch to take one of our most important celebrations seriously? Did we _really_ expect her to show up?"

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Barb sighed as she adjusted her vest over her lederhosen. "Alright. I'm just going to swing by for a minute, allow them to bask in all of my glory, grab a handful of crab puffs and then I am out of there." 

"Mmm-hmmm," Riff hummed, unconvinced, as he stood by the rope to the garbage chute trapdoor.

Pacing anxiously, Barb groaned, "Oh, but what if it's all a big prank? What if it's some cruel form of psychological torture?"

"Then you wreck the place and then come back here and I make you some bacon mac n cheese to numb the pain," Riff reminded her, giving her a reassuring pat on the back. 

"But do I want to be fashionably late? I'm considering yes."

"No."

"Yes." 

"No."

"Yes."

"Barb, you're stalling."

She walked over to the door, right above the trapdoor, and announced, "Alright, I'm going and that's final!"

She looked down at her hand. "Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing, I just had my fingers crossed."

Riff, officially done with Barb's shit, rolled his eyes and yanked down on the rope, sending Barb yelling down the garbage chute.

As she slid down, screaming profanities, he called after her, "Have fun, be safe, and bring me back some gingerbread!!!"

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Tiny felt his face burn with embarrassment as Creek continued to speak. "I guess the award is going to have to go to the runner up."

He could've sworn Creek gave him a glare as he went on about how the award would go to someone who actually deserved it.

Branch, nearby and noticing how bothered Tiny was, whispered, "Psst." When he looked down from his perch, he added, "Don't stress too much about it, Tiny. I'm sure you did the best you could."

Tiny gave him a small grateful smile as he returned his attention to the ceremony.

Creek was still going on with his speech. ".......someone who is more full of Christmas spirit that any other Troll! Someone like-"

He was interrupted by a sudden rumbling coming from the ground. He, as well as the rest of the Trolls, watched in shock as the hatch to the trash chute popped open and out popped a green, screaming mess. Before anyone could move out of the way, the figure arced over the crowd and crashed into a very surprised Poppy. 

Poppy was dazed for only a moment, laying in the ground with this mystery person, before suddenly she wrapped her arms around her in a bone-crunching hug. 

"Hiya, Barb!! Long time, no see!"

"Hey, Poppy," Barb replied, her face muffled by Poppy's chest.

Tiny hopped to his feet atop his dad's head and cheered, "She made it!!" 

At the sound of that, the crowd gasped in astonishment.

Creek glared at Barb, who had managed to pull herself out of Poppy's grasp. Barb got to her feet and glared back.

With each step she took towards the mayor, the crowd let out various noises of concern and shock. 

When she got in front of the podium, she turned and glowered at the crowd in front of her. While she vaguely recognized a few faces, such as the yodeler who was taking many steps further back into thee mass of people for protection, but for the most part these faces were totally unfamiliar. It was terrifying, though of course she wouldn't let them know that. 

The crowd stared back at her, anxious to see what she was going to do next. For nearly all of them, this was their first time seeing the creature known as the Binch in real life, and they had absolutely no idea what to expect.

Finally, Barb spoke up.

"....Boo."

The townsfolk gasped in terror and shock.

Barb hummed. "Hot crowd, hot crowd....."

She caught Poppy's eye amongst the masses of Trolls. Upon seeing her face, Poppy went from worried to absolutely ecstatic, giving her a grin and a pair of reassuring thumbs up.

Barb felt an unusual burst of confidence as she shoved her hands in the pockets of her vest and addressed the people.

"I, uh, believe I'm here to.... accept... some kind of award?"

Tiny nodded eagerly.

"And, uh," Barb continued, "I believe that kid mentioned a check?"

"I did not!" Tiny insisted indignantly, preparing to jump off his dad's head to confront her. He barely noticed as Guy grabbed him in the hopes of keeping him from getting closer to the Binch.

Barb groaned. "Fiiiine, give me this award," she snapped.

"Oh, no need to worry, Miss Binch," Creek said soothingly, sweeping in with his suave persona reapplied. "You'll get your awakad, Miss Holiday Cheermeister. But first, you need to take your place in the Chair of Cheer!"

"I'm sorry, what-"

"Put her in the Chair of Cheer!" Some random Troll cried out as a festive palanquin carried by about 6 trollbearers was brought into view. 

"What's the Chair of Cheer? I was not informed that there would be a Chair of Cheer!" Barb spat in slight distress, trying to keep at least some of her reputation and dignity.

Tiny ran up beside her, having escaped his father's worried clutches, and pleaded, 'Oh, please, Miss Binch? Please?"

A swarm of trolls surrounded Barb and started placing her into the Chair of Cheer, even as she insisted, "No, no, no! I can't handle this right now! It's too much too soon!" 

But her complaints and struggles were futile, as the citizens of Pop Village moved her into the chair and began parading her around the square.

"Let me out! Don't make me get my lawyer," Barb demanded, knowing fully well that Riff would not help her if he were there to see here like this.

Creek grinned and announced into his microphone, "Our Cheermeister's first duty of the night is to judge our Troll Pudding Cook-Off! I sure hope you brought your appetite!!" 

Before Barb could ask Creek what the hell he was talking about, Trolls began shoveling spoons of all sorts of different puddings into her mouth. It was alright at first, but soon there was pudding practically bursting out her stomach and dribbling down her chin, and she swore if she had to eat another bite, it was all going to come back up, yet they kept feeding her.

Thankfully, it wasn't too long before Creek announced the next activity. "It's time for the Christmas Conga!"

Barb was forced to the font of a long line of Trolls and they began to groove throughout the square. Barb tried to escape, saying, "You know, I really should be getting home to feed my dog," but the vibes of the people behind her were too infectious to allow her to leave. Also Poppy's hands were on her hips and she really didn't want her to let go just yet.

"Fruitcake Fa-la-la!"

Barb was getting really sick and tired of all these Trolls just shoving food down her throat. She began to question if this was worth getting an award afterwards. 

As she was carted along from activity to activity, way too many of them pertaining to food, Barb began to feel herself loosening up a bit. During the Christmas Sack Race, she managed to win first place, reveling in the cheers of the crowd around her (who either didn't care or didn't notice that she pushed over several children in order to win). As she was carried around in the palanquin once more, she found herself waving to the crowd of her adorning fans and really allowing herself to have fun.

Poppy grinned gleefully, glad to see her old friend enjoying herself so much. 

She blamed the swelling feeling in her chest on indigestion, of course. Too many Christmas cookies will do that to you.

Before long, the Trollibration was nearing it's end, and Barb stood by the podium next to Poppy and Creek, basking in the adoration of her fans.

Creek proclaimed to the Trolls in front of him, "And now, the moment we've all been waiting for!"

Barb beamed. "Ah, yes! My award."

She leaned in close to Creek. "And my check?"

"....There is no check."

"Worth a shot," Barb responded as she leaned away with an accepting nod. 

"It's time," Creek continued, "for Present Pass-It-On!" 

If Barb hadn't let her guard down so much and gotten so enthralled with the feelings of everyone around her, she might have noticed the evil glint so very prominent in Creek's eye as he handed her a golden gift-wrapped present, saying, "As always, we shall start with our Cheermeister."

Barb excitedly snatched up the gift, tore it open with her teeth, and reached inside.

Her heart stopped when she pulled it out. 

It was an electric razor.

Suddenly, the memories all came rushing back. Barb felt her hands shake as next to her, Poppy gasped and clapped her hands to her mouth in horrified shock.

"The gift of a Christmas shave," Creek explained, to the laughter of the crowd.

Barb's eyes welled up with angry tears, but she refused to let them fall. She wasn't going to let Creek see her cry; she'd rather die than let him know he got to her.

She was willing to just head back up the mountain and never come down here again, to just let these stupid Trolls have their shitty holiday without her, but Creek decided he needed to take things a step further.

Creek clapped her on the back like he hadn't just reawakened some deep-seeded trauma with in her, chuckling, "Ah, yes, good times, huh, Binch?" 

Barb struggled to keep her breaths calm and even. A stray tear threatened to spill out of her eye.

Creek continued, "Now, I do believe I have a very special gift for someone very special to me."

He turned to Poppy, whose expression of complete surprise hadn't faded even the slightest. He pulled a small box out of his pants and proceeded to get down on one knee, sending a gasp throughout the crowd.

"Poppy," he grabbed one of her hands and opened the box up, revealing a very expensive looking ring under a sprig of mistletoe, "would you give me the honor of becoming your husband?"

Poppy took a step back, completely overwhelmed. "Creek, I.. I don't-"

"Please, Poppy," He begged, scooting closer to her, "I can promise you that we can be happy together! I'll make sure that _no one_ " he glowered at Barb before returning his gaze back to Poppy, "will ever make you feel like you deserve less than the best."

Barb felt something inside of her _snap_.

"So what do you say, Poppy? Will you become my wife?"

"W-well...I- The ring is beautiful-"

A loud crash sounded, causing everyone's head to whip towards the cause of the noise. Barb had picked ip the podium and hurled it against the nearest wall. 

Turned slowly to face Creek and Poppy. "Of course it is," she snarled, slowly taking a step towards them. "That's what it's all about, isn't it?" She laughed humorlessly. "That's what it's _always_ been about! The fucking gifts!"

Everyone was silent, too scared to make a sound; they could only watch in fear as Barb continued, tears slowly flowing down her face in anger, "You wanna know what happens to your gifts? What happens after they've outstayed their welcome? They all come to me, straight to the garbage!"

Her gaze drifted to Poppy, her face filled less with fear or disgust, but with concern.

This.... _pity_ only added fuel to the fire in Barb's soul. "And the greed! The greed you assholes possess is truly endless! I'm not trying disrupt your dumb little holiday, but this whole season is just.....STUPID!" The crowd took a collective step back as Barb yelled.

She let out another humorless chuckle as she made her way towards Poppy, a devilish smirk growing in stark contrast to her tear-stained cheeks. "There is, of course," she admitted cheekily, "one little Christmas tradition I find pretty meaningful...."

Poppy's heart jumped to her throat as Barb stood in front of her.

She jumped as Barb snatched the sprig from the ring box.

"Mistletoe," Barb sneered as she held it up for the crowd to see. "Now pucker up and KISS IT, POP VILLAGE!" She exclaimed as she held it over her ass.

Several Trolls fainted. Barb grabbed the back of Creek's stupid little cape and held him up in the air. As he kicked his legs, desperate to be back on the ground, she took his 'gift' and switched it on, shaving an ugly line through the center of his head.

As Creek and the rest of the crowd shrieked in terror, Barb added, "You know, Creek, that's not a bad look for you."

The townspeople began to run in all sorts of directions, desperate to escape the wrath of the terrible Binch. Barb merely laughed at their misery as she began to walk towards the massive Christmas tree.

Guy picked up Tiny and began to pull him away from the scene, despite his protests to stay and try to help.

Barb noticed a Troll pulling out a flask. In a wild stroke of evil genius, she snatched the flask away, glugged down like half of it, and held the other half in her mouth. Picking up a nearby creme brûlée torch, she spit-took the alcohol out, setting the enormous tree ablaze.

The entire town watched, Tiny, Poppy, Creek, everyone, as the tree started burning up at an upsetting speed.

Barb cackled, 'Yes!!! BURN, BABY!!"

Before long, the tree was nothing more than a pile of ash with a few ornaments and a big red star sticking out of it.

The crowd took this as their cue to start running and panicking again.

Poppy watched with tears in her eyes as Barb laughed manically. "Oh, Barb....."

Suddenly, a wave of clarity washed over Barb. Her laughter died down, her evil grin faded, and she was forced to look around at all the damage she caused, at all the people she scared.

She saw Poppy, standing all by herself, looking back at her. She was crying.

The guilt hit Barb all at once.

She had to get out of there. _NOW_.

Stumbling back a little, she spun on her heel and began to run for the hatch.

Poppy started to run after her. "Barb, wait!"

Barb ran as fast as her feet could carry her, dodging and diving around the trolls scrambling around her. She ignored Poppy calling after her and just focused on getting out of there. She could only take so much heartbreak in one night.

It didn't take long to reach the hatch. Barb quickly hopped inside, ready to get this night over with.

"Barb, please!"

She turned to find Poppy, standing a good 10 feet away, still panting from running after her.

The two stood there in silence, so entranced with each other that they couldn't hear the noises of the chaos around them.

As the tears spilled over her eyes again, Barb shook her head and muttered, "I'm sorry," slamming down on the button that would send her up and slamming the hatch behind her.

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Later, once the chaos had died down, the Trolls stumbled into the square, assessing the damage around them and making sure everyone was ok. 

"Guy." Tiny turned to find the mayor talking to his dad, who looked very ashamed. They stood in the pile of ash that used to be the big Christmas tree.

"I'm hurt, Guy," he told him, "and I don't hurt easily. But what you and your- your family have done tonight.. I just...I-I'm so disappointed."

Tiny watched as Guy bowed his head in embarrassment, ignoring the tears pricking the edge of his eyes.

"Now," Creek said with a clap of his hands, mood quickly shifting from dissatisfaction to excitement, "why don't we get back to celebrating Christmas the way it was meant to be celebrated; Binchless?" 

He began to wish good tidings to the crowd, gaining a cheer from nearly everyone.

Guy, Branch, and Poppy, who had managed to make her way back to the square, rubbing the tears from her eyes, headed over to check in on Tiny, who was not too well. 

He looked up at the adults who cared about him, eyes watery and voice breaking as he told them, "I just wanted everyone to be together for Christmas...."

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"Well that was a real hoot," Barb snarked with a grin, looking down at the town from her front step.

Riff looked at her, unconvinced, but said nothing. She'd come back from the ceremony cold. and distant, moreso than usual, and had locked herself in the bathroom for an hour while she silently cried. Still, she'd blatantly deny anything if he brought it up, so he just mentally bookmarked it to bring up when she was in a more coopererable mood. 

So they'd just stood outside, watching the city below.

Barb began to snicker with delight over the mischief she cause, but it was caught short as she noticed a huge tree rising up in the middle of town square.

"They had a spare tree?!?!?!?" She yelled in exasperation. "Ugh!!" She kicked a patch of snow over the side of the ledge in anger.

"Must mean they're almost ready for Christmas," Riff remarked, hands in his pockets.

"God, I can already imagine the noise," Barb complained as she preemptively covered her ears. "All the little Troll children with wake up bright and eary and play with all their toys for all to hear, not caring who they wake up in the process!"

"Then, they'll all sit down and have a great big feast while we sit up here and go hungry," Riff added.

Barb fell to her knees and yelled out down to the town below, "FUCK YOU, TROLLS!!!"

Her cry echoed down the side of the mountain. She really hoped Creek was able to hear it.

She sat there, on her knees, breathing shakily as tears crawled back onto her face. Riff couldn't do much more than place his hand on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. 

She glared down at the city, wishing someone could stop this whole ordeal.

And that's when it hit her. An idea. A nasty idea. A nasty, evil idea.

A malicious grin crept onto her face as she got up off the snowy ground. 

"B-Barb?"

"I think I've found a way to stop Christmas from happening, my dear Riff," she drawled, looking down at the town.

"Oh? How do you plan on doing that?"

She turned to him with a smirk, and Riff regretted asking.

"We are going to steal their beloved Christmas ourselves."

An unfamiliar voice piped up. "Ok, so, not a bad plan, but I think you'll need some help."

The two trills spun around to find a troll neither of them recognized standing by the trash pile. He was green with blue hair, and stood there crossing his arms with an interested look on his face.

Barb spoke up first. "Who the hell are you?"

"My name's Branch. I want to help you ruin Christmas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it seems like im writing this too quickly its because the live action Grinch leaves netflix on the 31st and its like my main reference for the story (not word for word copying though dont worry) so im trying to have it done by then lmao. But yeah Branch is joining the christmas thieves bc I wanted to write about him more. See yall in the next part, where we delve a little bit further from my reference material
> 
> -CC


	4. The Binch Steals Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of Riff and their strange new ally, Barb prepares to take Christmas from the Trolls once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we have gotten to the part that everyone knows, but this time we got Branch too bc I wanted to write about him more like he’s barely been in the story so far so Branch stans get ready (also Briff stans be ready too, it's not a lot but it's there lol)

Barb paced back in forth in front of Branch, hoping it would intimidate him at least a little bit. Riff stood off to the side, holding his arm nervously. And Branch was seated in Riff's loveseat (Barb refused to let him sit in her chair), looking confused yet amused.

Upon discovering that someone had been listening to their plans, Barb decided that the best course of action would be to interrogate him and find out his motive. So she'd dragged him by the arm into the cave ("Nice place you got going on, did you build all of this yourself?" "Shut up.") and pushed him into Riff's chair. She'd spent the last 5 minutes just pacing, trying to figure out what to ask him.

"So, uh, are you gonna tell me why you brought me inside or-?"

"Yeah, Barb, you're not doing a very good job at interrogating right now," Riff agreed.

"Shut up, Riff," Barb mumbled, finally ceasing her pacing and walking to stand in front of Branch. 

"How much did you hear?"

Branch shrugged. "Pretty much all of it, I think. By the time I landed in the garbage you were yelling about how they had a spare tree, and then you started complaining about tomorrow, and then you told Pop Village to fuck themselves, and then i think you started cry-?"

"Yeah, yeah, ok," Barb cut in, face burning, "we get it, you heard enough. So, why do you want to help us?"

"Well," Branch began, clasping his hands over his chest as he leaned back into Riff's chair, "I heard you two talking about what Christmas means for you two, being cold and hungry and not being allowed to participate, and I remembered your whole speech about the presents, Binch-"

"Oh god, please just call me Barb," Barb groaned, "I don't even know where calling me the Binch started from but please dear god, just call me Barb."

"Noted, And by the way, it was probably because of Creek, in all honesty. He is the actual worst."

"Fuckin' asshole," Barb agreed.

Branch continued, "I realized that if this was what Christmas was celebrating, then I don't want to participate. Not that it changed much from my regular Christmas plans though. I mean, Christmas is ok and all, but I don't really care for it all that much, like it's just ok. I don't do anything particularly special, I just put out a few decorations and call it a day, maybe hang out with the Diamonds and Poppy on Christmas day-"

"You know Poppy?" Barb's ears perked up involuntarily.

Riff smirked. 'Way to be subtle."

"Uh, yeah I know Poppy, we were close friends ever since middle school. I usually end up spending Christmas with her, her brother Guy and his son Tiny."

"Hey, we know him, Barb," Riff pointed out with a smile. 

"Oh yeah, that's right, he invited you. Uh, listen, he didn't know what Creek was gonna pull, so please don't blame him for what happened tonight."

Barb rolled her eyes, but still replied. "That's fair enough. He is a kid, after all."

"But yeah, Christmas was never that important to me, I wouldn't mind seeing it go."

"Unrelated question," Riff chimed in, "why did you come up here in the first place?"

 _Oh, that's a good question_ , Barb thought.

Branch laughed nervously, "So, uh, funny story about that, um, hehe, I, uh, actually came up here to ask, if you, perchance.....ate.....people ONLY," He interrupted himself as he noticed Barb open her mouth to angrily defend herself, "only because I wanted to eat Creek."

Barb snorted with laughter, "Don't you think I would've eaten him a long time ago, buddy?"

Branch shrugged. "Fair enough. But other than eating him, stealing Christmas is really gonna piss him off. He's been a dick to me and other for way too long. Plus, he made my nephew cry. For that alone, he should be dead, but then Poppy would be upset, so stealing his favorite holiday is the next best thing, in my eyes."

Barb smirked. "That just sweetens the whole pot for me."

"So, did you guys have a game plan?"

"What?"

"You know, a game plan? A general idea of what you're trying to do. Like, how are you planning to steal Christmas from Pop village?"

"Uh....."

"You have no idea do you."

"In my defense, you interrupted us before I could think of something."

"You could dress like Santa and steal all the decorations and presents back."

Barb and Branch turned to look at Riff, who just scratched the back of his neck and giggled anxiously.

Branch said, "You know, that's not terrible."

"It isn't?" Riff blushed from the positive feedback.

"It's not, we just need to figure out what we need to make this happen. What does Santa have that we don't?"

"For starters, he's got the hat and the coat," Barb counted off her fingers, "uhhh, he's got a sleigh...."

"Oh yeah! And a big sack to hold everything!" Riff chimed in.

Branch winced. "Sounds like a lot of sewing...."

Riff puffed his little chest out proudly and mentioned, "Well, luckily for you guys, I happen to be a master seamster."

"Oh, really?"

Barb shoved Riff in the side with a roll of her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, we get it, Mr. Stitch Man, you can sew and I can't."

"So that just leaves the sleigh?"

Cracking her knuckles, Barb turned to Branch and gloated with a grin, "I mean, I happen to know my way around a set of tools."

"So do I. Guess we can work on that together."

"Sure, just don't expect me to get all buddy-buddy with you and join hands to sing Kumbaya or something," Barb scoffed, crossing her arms indignantly.

"....You don't get out much, do you?"

"What's it to ya?"

"Nothing, it's just, as someone that also doesn't get out much, I can tell."

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And so the three trolls set off to work. Barb and Branch started by heading to the garbage pile and gathering up every little bit of scrap metal they could find, while Riff stole a bright red blanket from Barb's bed and started cutting out the pieces for a coat.

Branch and Barb dragged as much metal as they could through the front door, needing as much material as they could get their hands. Riff struggled not to look over from his sewing as Branch walked in, dragging a metal bedframe across the floor as sweat poured from his brow. 

Riff was sweating too. For a very different reason.

As she passed by with a pair of old skis, Barb couldn't help huffing at her friend's predicament. _Useless homosexual_ , she thought.

Once they had gathered a sizable pile of It wasn't long before Barb and Branch found a system that worked for them; Branch worked on building the frame of the sleigh, and Barb begrudgingly handed him the blowtorch, the wrench, the screwdriver: whatever tool he needed at the moment. Barb couldn't be too mad about this arrangement, however, as it allowed her to better brainstorm ideas for what she was going to do once the sleigh was built.

Meanwhile, as those two were doing that, Riff had finished the final touches on the coat and hat, and moved onto the giant sack. Thankfully for him, the sack really didn't need to be any specific color, and so he began to salvage any little piece of fabric he could get his paws on. Clothes, dishrags, curtains, you name it; he worked on stitching them all together.

Once the basic frame was completed, Barb began using sheets of metal to fill the frame in while Branch began fiddling around with a few car engines. "Unless, you wanted to pull the sleigh yourself?" He'd asked sarcastically, smirking at the irritation washing onto her face.

The hours seemed to fly away all too fast, but they managed to finish shortly before midnight.

Riff handed the Santa suit to Barb to try on, smiling warmly. She snatched away harshly, but still managed to mumble a sincere "thanks".

Once it was on, she took a look at herself in the shattered mirror. If she hadn't known any better she'd have said that she was the spitting image of Saint Nicholas himself.

She turned towards the boys with a grin that seemed to teem with termites. "And, now, we wait for the jolly old man to show up."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I see him, I see him!"

"Really? Let me see!" Barb hissed as she attempted to take the binoculars away from Branch. 

Branch held them just out of her reach and whisper-shouted back, "No way! You should've brought your own!"

Riff sighed and lied further into the seat of the sleigh. He didn't want to get himself involved in whatever squabbling these two were in the middle one.

The sleigh, for all its mismatched-ness, was truly a sight to behold. Sheets of roofing and old baking pans were welded to a frame of discarded plumbing pipes, among other things. Branch had managed to combine a series of car engines into one larger and more powerful one, which sat at the back of the sleigh. The sleigh stood on a pair of reenforced skis. And on the inside sat a single old restaurant booth in front of a large trunk, where an enormous empty sack sat, along with several smaller sacks for actually bringing inside the houses, waiting to be filled with the spoils of Christmas.

Truly it was a wonder to behold, considering the limited supplies and the time crunch.

"Is he leaving yet?" Barb demanded as she attempted to slap the binoculars out of Branch's reach. "Because you know we can't go down there until he's gone!"

Branch shoved Barb away as he whispered, "I'm well aware of that, Barb! Now if you just give me a second, I'll let you know what I see!"

Barb could only sigh as she sat in the snowy ground and pouted, defeated. She muttered angrily under her breath, "Stupid Santa and his stupid sleigh, he allowed to come out of hiding once a year and everyone loves him for it, but when I do the same thing everyone runs away screaming? What kind of double standard bull-"

"Shh, I think he's about to leave."

Barb's words caught in her throat, as her gaze darted from the ground to the town far in the distance, straining her eyes in the hopes of seeing something.

Even Riff sat up from inside the sled and found himself looking to see Santa.

The three trolls watched the town in silence, waiting for something to happen.

A jingle ran up the side of the mountain and a little old voice called out "Merry Christmas!" Even without the luxury of binoculars, Barb and Riffer were able to see as well as him as a tiny little sleigh pulled by 8 micro reindeer flew away in front of the moon.

"Shit, I forgot about the reindeer."

Branch looked over at Barb with confusion. "Do we really need the reindeer if we have the engine?

Barb buried her head in her hands as she groaned, "Ugh, I don't know, I just feels like we're missing something really important."

"I mean, it can't be that-" An idea struck Branch, cutting himself off.

"...What? Why'd you stop?"

Smirking, Branch spun Barb around so that they were both facing Riff, who was absently fiddling with his dog ears. It took him a moment to realize that they were staring at him.

A dark flush creeped onto his face as he protested, "Oh, hell no, you guys can't just make me do this, I'm not gonna."

"C'mon, Riff, please? I'll get you that fake fur you've been eyeing for forever~..."

"The one that would finally let me finish my fursuit?" Riff's eyes involuntarily lit up, but he shook his head and insisted, "No, there's nothing you can say or do that could make me dress up like a stupid reindeer!"

"Not even if I asked?" Branch innocently batted his eyes.

"N-No!" Riff stuttered, still trying to hold his ground.

Barb sighed. "I didn't want to have to do this, Riff, but you've left me no choice. If you don't become my reindeer, I'm going to tell Branch about what you were like when you were 13."

"You wouldn't dare," Riff gulped, gaping at her.

But the dangerous look in Barb's eyes told him that she 100% absolutely would.

"UGHHH I HATE YOU SO MUCH," Riff screeched as he crawled off the sled and began stomping up towards the cave.

"You love me and you know it!" She called after him.

"Not sure if I do anymore, you ass!" And with that he slammed the front door shut.

Barb turned to face Branch. "I know you just wanted him to dress like a reindeer because you thought he'd look funny and/or cute BUT," she emphasized before he could argue, and she knew he would from the blush forming in his cheeks, "don't think you're getting yourself out of this either," she pulled out a long cap with a jingle bell on the end, "my beloved elf."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright boys, are we ready?"

Branch and Riff refused to look at her as they sat on either side of her in the sleigh, their arms crossed and their faces annoyed. Riff had taken one of Barb's antler wall hooks and tied it onto his head with a piece of string, and Branch was wearing the jingle bell hat.

Barb smirked as she took their silence as enthusiastic agreement. "Excellent, let's get this show on the road!" And with that, she pulled a lever and slammed on the gas. 

Considering there were no seatbelts in the sleigh, it was a miracle none of them were immediately thrown out as it lunged forward with extreme force and speed. The skis on the bottom barely touched the ground as it flew down the side of the mountain. Branch screamed at the top of his lungs, desperately patting around and trying to find something to hold on to. Riff was not faring much better, groaning with each bump and jump that the sleigh made during its decent. But Barb, on the other hand, whooped and laughed gleefuly as she swerved around trees and mounds of snow. 

Meanwhile, in the town below, all the Trolls were nestled warmly in their beds, sleeping and waiting for morning to break, their dreams filled with Christmas cheer and glad tidings. 

They remained blissfuly unaware as the Binch squad rolled up to the first house on the outskirts of town.

Barb skidded to a stop in front of the house, sighing with elation.

"That was a real hoot, huh, boys?"

Said boys couldn't answer, they were too busy white-knuckling the front of the sleigh and trembling ever so slightly. 

Barb rolled her eyes as she grabbed a smaller sack from the back and hopped out, mumbling, "If you don't like how I drive then maybe next time you try it!"

She climbed up the snow covered lattice-work on the side of the house and stared at the chimney. Yes, this would be the first stop of many on the long night ahead of her.

She peeked down the chimney. The fire was long put out, though it still didn’t hurt to be careful and check. Tossing her sack down first, she did a quick stretch before diving down the chimney headfirst.

That was probably her first mistake. 

Her second mistake was not taking into account the amount of fabric the coat dragged along the walls of the chimney, causing her to get stuck about halfway down.

At least it only took a few solid squirms to free herself, sending her down the chimney and headfirst into the slightly burnt logs at the bottom. 

Barb heard Riff whisper-yell after her, "B-Barb! Are you ok?"

"Just peachy, she grumbled, picking herself up off the sooty ground. "Just be ready for when I launching up stuff to put in the sleigh."

The first thing her eye caught on was the stockings of the house dwellers, lovingly pinned to the mantle. Disgusting.

Barb reached into one of her coat pockets and whipped out a heavy duty magnet. With an evil smirk, she magnetically pulled the nails from each stocking onto thee magnet, leaving the stockings to fall one by one into her open sack. 

She then proceeded to prop the sack open with a hockey stick, presumably one of the presents for one of the little brats that lived there. Using all of her Binchy strength, she pushed the mound of presents into the sack, tossing the stick in once she was done.

Another sack fluttered to the ground as Barb dragged her spoils towards the fireplace. There was already a rope waiting for her. Tying up the filled sack, she gave the rope a small tug before continuing to raid the house, ignoring the strained groans of the boys trying to lift the sack up the chimney. 

She tore wreaths and lights from the walls, and snagged all the snacks from the fridge, shoving them into a sack and shoving that up the chimney. 

The last thing she needed to do, and arguably one of the hardest things she had to do, was figure out how to bring up the tree. 

It took a moment of thinking, but soon it hit her like that one reindeer hit that one grandma.

Barb grabbed one of the remaining strings of lights and began to wrap the branches of the tree down, as if the lights were a rope. Grinning, she tied it together so that it was just a big cylinder, convenient for stuffing of chimneys. 

She grabbed the tree in her arms and began to thrust it up the chimney. 

"Santa?"

_Fuck._

Barb's head snapped to find a small troll child looking up at her.

To make matters worse, it was the troll child she kind of knew.

 _ **FUCK**_.

"Santa? Why are you taking our tree?" Tiny Diamond asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

That's when Barb noticed that he wasn't wearing his glasses, the little ones he'd been wearing all those times he met her. He must've needed them to see, otherwise he would've seen through she would've been run out of the house by now. 

Barb internalized a sigh of relief. This was something she could work with. 

"W-Well, you see, my boy," She started, putting on the holliest, jolliest accent she could manage, propping the tree up and gesturing broadly, "there happens to bee a light on your tree that just won't light up! So, I'm simply borrowing your tree, taking it back to my workshop, where I'll fix it right up, and then I'll bring it back when I'm done." 

Tiny smiled. It didn't take a genius to know that Santa wasn't green. But if there was one thing he could appreciate, it was the Binch's commitment to the character.

Barb got the kid a glass of water and gave him a small pat on the head and gently shooed him up the stairs. But he didn't get very far up them, turning around and asking again, "Santa?"

"What?" Barb snapped, mentally smacking herself for sounding much meaner than a Santa should.

"Can you make sure to visit the Binch tonight?"

"W-What?"

"I know she's mean and hairy, and she swears and yells a lot, and she's not exactly good at being nice to other Trolls-"

"I think we get it kid."

"But I think she's just really misunderstood, and once you get to know her a little bit, I think she's really..."

Barb subconsciously held her breath as Tiny looked for the right word.

"...sweet."

"Sweet?" Barb was absolutely stunned. She didn't think anyone but her dad, and maybe not even him, would've ever called her sweet. 

Tiny nodded cheerfully. "Merry Christmas, Santa," He whispered as he turned around and raced up the rest of the stairs, careful not to spill his water. He hoped that whatever the Binch was doing, it would make her feel better. He knew she needed a little happiness this time of year.

"Oh kid," Barb mumbled once the she heard the sound of Tiny's door closing, her hands planted on her hips, "you really gotta learn to be a better judge of character."

And with that, she spun on her heel, grabbed the tree, and shot it up the chimney. She could hear Branch grunt in pain as the tree presumably hit him in the face. Snickering, she gathered up the logs from the fireplace and began shimmying her way up the chimney, leaving the barren house behind her. 

As she popped her head out of the chimney, she witnessed Branch and Riff stuffing the tree into the large sack in the back of the sleigh.

She slid down the roof and landed with a triumphant laugh in the front of the sleigh, startling her two helpers.

"Excellent work, boys," she complimented, "but we need to keep moving, we can't risk wasting moonlight."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trio of thieves worked tirelessly all that night, driving from house to house and picking them clean of anything festive. Barb would infiltrate the houses, usually through the chimney, but she did have to break in a few windows and bust down a few doors. Once she was inside, she'd snatch any present, decoration, or food unlucky enough to catch Barb's attention. She'd pack it all up and then send it out to be added to the sleigh by Riff and Branch. The boys would alternate between packing stuff away and stealing outside decorations. (Branch was more than ready to remove all the decorations from his own house.)

It was fairly uneventful until they reached Mayor Creek's house, where once the place was cleaned out, Branch and Barb collectively went hard on making Creek's day as horrible as possible. They threw rolls of toilet paper all over his house, drew on his face in permanent marker, and covering all his doorways in cling wrap. 

From there, the three continued to sweep through the town until all that was left was the big tree in the middle of town. 

There was no way that they would be able to get that into the sleigh, but Barb decided not to stress about it too much because they'd managed to get every other decoration and all the presents. 

And as they threw the last of the smaller sacks into the big sack, the trolls cheered triumphantly. "We did it!" Barb whooped as Riff impulsively hugged a blushing Branch. Upon realizing what he'd done, Riff pulled away to apologize, but Branch cut him off, "I-It's ok. Don't worry about it."

Branch sighed. "If it's all the same to you guys, I was gonna head home. I want to be there to see the look on Creek's face in the morning." 

Barb smirked. "Understandable. Hope his face makes this all worth it."

Branch gave a little salute and made his way out of the town square, heading back towards his own house.

Barb and Riff watched him go for a moment before settling down in the seat of the sleigh. Barb slammed on the gas.

The sleigh puttered forward a few feet before stopping completely.

"Aw, balls," Riff muttered as he pointed at the fuel gauge. Empty.

Barb sighed, "We probably should've had Branch check this before he left."

"So, what do we do now?"

Barb gave him a look.

"Oh god, please no."

"Get pulling, Rudolph," She deadpanned, handing him a rope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to get as much of this fic done before Netflix removes the live action grinch at midnight tonight so im gonna write more. See y'all in the next and final part of this fic!!!!
> 
> -CC


	5. The Binch Discovers The True Meaning Of Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barb, as well as the other Trolls, realizes that Christmas is more than just the presents and decorations. Also, Barb gets a gf. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I just want to thank everyone for reading this fic, even though it's come out long after Christmas lol, thanks to El and Nick for being two of the biggest fans of this in the gay trolls server, thanks to Mason for drawing that fanart that inspired this whole mess, and finally thanks to @squawkcrowquack on tumblr, for the kind words in the notes of Nick's fanart post, that's right, I saw the tags, Ari, and words cannot describe how happy your words made me. Anyway, to the rest of you, onto the final chapter!!!

"C'MON, RIFF! PULL WITH YOUR LEGS!"

Riff groaned as he struggled to drag the rope, "I'm trying!!!"

The two of them had been dragging the sleigh from a couple of ropes all the way up the side of the mountain for a while. In fact, day was beginning to peek out from the horizon and they'd nearly reached the top. Which was good, considering they were about to pass out. Barb begrudgingly agreed to help once it became painfully obvious how weak Riff's arms truly were. 

"We're almost there," Barb panted, eagerly eyeing the few remaining feet to go, "you can't quit now!"

"Wasn't planning on it," Riff strained.

They slowly but surely pulled the sleigh over to the peak of Mount Crumpit, collapsing, exhausted, facedown y rolled herself in the snow.

Barb limply raised a fist in celebration. "We did it," she said, her voice muffled by the snow in her face.

"Hell yeah," Riff replied in an equally muffled voice.

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"If i weren't so tired, I would've stabbed you."

"Yeah, ok." Barb slowly flipped herself onto her back and sat herself up. She looked down at the town below. "I bet those Trolls are waking up now. I can almost imagine them all just crying about how sad they are with out their stupid little Christmas."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And she was right: as the Trolls wandered into the streets of Pop Village, still in their pajamas and very confused, they begun to burst into tears at the sight of all their things gone, taken from them. They gathered sadly into the town square, looking for any kind of answer to what they'd experienced.

Following Guy and Poppy, who were in shock at the sight of the aftermath of the events that had unfolded the night before, Branch couldn't help but feel a tug in his chest. In his hubris of getting back at Creek, he'd just about forgotten the hundred other people in the town that also celebrated and loved the holiday.,

A cop Troll, still in his pajamas, hopped into his cop car and began racing for the town square. However, as he tore down the street, he failed to notice the long rope tied to his back bumper, leading into the mayor's bedroom window.

Creek had barely woken up when suddenly he, along with his bed, were town form his house and pulled out into the street. The cop car didn't notice the mayor's terrified screams as it dragged the bed all throughout the streets.

As the car slowed down in front of the big tree, as did Mayor Creek, looking incredibly shaken.

Branch held back a snort. This almost made ruining everyone's day for his own selfish needs worth it. _Almost._

The cop Troll stepped out of the car, saw what he'd accidentally done, and then proceeded to climb back into his car.

Trolls gathered around the mayor's bed, to see if he was ok, and Creek began, "Well, I'm, uh, sure it's quite obvious who did this to us?"

Tiny Diamond, wearing a warm winter coat over his pajamas, frowned.

Creek stood from the bed and continued as he put on a very fluffy robe, "I tried to warn you folks, but you didn't want to listen. AND NOW NONE OF US HAVE CHRISTMAS!" He became consumed with a sudden burst of anger and kicked the side of his bed, leading to a gasp of concern from the townsfolk. 

"This is what happens when wee don't listen to me," Creek sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "Now, why did we decide," He gestured over at Tiny, his voice steadily getting meaner "to listen to the silly whims of a foolish little boy? Why, he's barely a foot tall, he's barely begun to grow up."

Creek's glare seemed to bear holes into Tiny's soul as he growled, "I hope you're happy with yourself, Tiny Diamond." 

Tiny looked like he was going to cry, but then, someone stepped protectively in front of him.

"If he isn't, I am!" Guy proudly proclaimed to the shock of all the other trolls.

"In fact, I'm glad he took our presents!" The crowd gaped at him in awe. How could he say such a thing?

"I-I really truly am." Guy gave a supportive smile down at his son, who returned the grin tenfold.

"Oh, is that so?" Creek asked, his voice dripping with condescension. "Why's that, Guy? Hmm? What about everything being stripped away from us would make you so happy?" He walked over towards Guy, who trembled ever so slightly, but was refusing to step down.

"What minuscule silver lining could you possibly find to the Binch destroying- no, _pulverizing_ our beloved holiday?" Creek sneered, eyeing Guy down.

"You can't destroy Christmas, Creek, not in a way that matters," Guy explained, "because when you really think about it, Christmas isn't about the presents, or the food, or the fancy lights, or the contests, and I think that's what Tiny's been trying to tell us this whole time!" He returned his gaze to his son with a proud glimmer in his eye. "Including myself."

Poppy stepped forward. "Guy is right," she chimed in. "All this time, we've been so focused on the superficial parts of Christmas that we've forgotten about Christmas's true meaning! And you know, I think we really needed to remember that, especially this year."

"Oh, not you too, Poppy."

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Poppy," Guy said as he clapped a warm hand on her shoulder.

"You've gotta be kidding me, Guy," Creek groaned. "He's just a kid!!"

"He's _my_ kid," Guy corrected, leaning into Creek's face. "And he's 100% right, for your information."

Branch snickered into his hand. Nothing beat watching Creek get his ass handed to him. Even if it meant Poppy would elbow him in the side in qn attempt to make him behave.

Creek couldn't help but watch as the townsfolk chattered, making various sounds of general agreement.

"In fact," Guy continued, gathering Tiny, Poppy, and even Branch around him, "there's nothing more that I need for Christmas than these three right here."

The crowd "aww"ed as Tiny threw his arms around his dad's legs and squeezed them real tight. Poppy grinned and wrapped her arms around her boys in a bone-crushing hug.

"Merry Christmas!" Guy and Poppy cheered in unison.

Soon, the whole square began to fill up with glad tidings and "Merry Christmas"es. Trolls hugged one another and shook hands and truly felt themselves unite as a town. Two particularly in-love Trolls began to passionately make out, gaining a wave of cheers to rise up.

Poppy couldn't help but stare with a smile.

Tiny, on the other hand, glanced up at Mount Crumpit with a smirk. He still had one last job to do.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the top of Mount Crumpit, fully rested, Barb peeked down the far side of the mountain with glee. She was so ready to get rid of Christmas, once and for all.

With Riff still lying basically half dead in the snow, Barb began to push the sleigh and all its contents over the edge of the ledge. It wasn't as easy as when Riff was helping, but considering there was only one place it needed to go, and with gravity on her side, it really didn't need to be.

As she shoved, she mumbled, moreso to herself. than Riff, "Oh, just wait until the cries float up here from the town, the perfect musical accompaniment to the end of Christmas as we know it. I can almost hear it now."

Riff lifted his head up and blankly stared at her. Barb had a sort of crazed look in her eye, pushing the sleigh inch by inch over the edge of the mountain. If he weren't so tired, he might've been severely concerned.

And that's when it began to float up from the town, though it wasn't the sound of despairing wails she had been expecting. It started out faint, but steadily it grew louder and louder until it was impossible to ignore.

It was a Christmas carol.

Barb froze with shock at the sound. She straightened herself up, took a few steps away from the sleight and gaped at the Trolls in the village below.

From her perch atop the mountain, she could see the faint outline of a large gathering of Trolls, probably every Troll in the town, joining hands and singing merrily together.

Barb couldn't comprehend this turn of events. She ripped off her hat and threw it down as she took a few steps down the mountain, to listen a bit better, to make sure her ears weren't deceiving her.

She'd.....failed? She hadn't really stopped Christmas? How could this be?

'How could this happen? I took all their things!" She grumbled as she glared down at the chorusing below her. "They had no presents to open or food to eat! How did Christmas still arrive?"

Riff, finally gaining some control of his very weak muscles, managed to pick himself up and slowly stumbled towards Barb, her face contorting as here confusion grew. 

He placed a hand on her back, and then it hit her like a brick wall. Her confusion and anger seemed to melt away

"Is.......IS Christmas not something you buy?" She turned to face Riff, who was giving her a small smile. 

"Maybe," She continued nervously, "Christmas is something more than that?"

Riff nodded.

"AUHGGGHH!" Barb collapsed to the ground, clutching her chest and groaning in pain.

"Holy shit!!! Are you ok, Barb?"

"UGH! I feel this feeling in my chest, and it hurts real bad, and it's like I don't want to take Christmas anymore? I don't want to cause people pain???? What the FUCK?????!?!"

"Barb, that's called caring about people."

"WHAT THE FUCK MAKE IT STOP!!!"

Riff reached down and patted the writhing troll on the head. "That's not how this works, Barb. You have to live with this forever now," He told her honestly.

Barb managed to stop shaking but then the tears began leaking from her eyes. 

Riff rolled his eyes half heartedly and opened his arms. "Oh, come here, you big baby."

Barb practically leaped into Riff's arms as she wailed, unable to handle the sheer force of emotion she was feeling at that moment. Riff hugged her back and gently stroked her hair as she sobbed. "Shh, shh, it's ok, just let it all out."

"RIIIIIIIIFFFFFFF! I've been such an asshole to you!"

"I know, Barb."

"I've been such an asshole to _everyone_!"

"I know, Barb."

"You do so much for me, and I don't even tell you how much I love and appreciate youuuuu...."

"I know, Barb."

"But I do! I move and appreciate you _so much_!"

Riff pulled away, cupping Barb's face in his hands and forcing her to look at him. "....I know, Barb."

"...You asshole!" Barb couldn't help but laugh as she pushed Riff away. "Look at you, making me get all sappy about my feelings, I got a reputation to keep, you know!" 

Riff chuckled in response, "Oh, of course, what would you do without your precious reputation?"

They continued to laugh together, even as the wind began to pick up around them.

A loud creaking above them interrupted their little bonding moment. Their heads snapped up to see the sleigh slipping off the edge of the mountain away from them.

Riff and Barb stared at each other. 

"The sleigh," Riff breathed.

"And the presents," Barb added, equally concerned.

"They'll be destroyed."

"And I actually care about that!!!"

The trolls began scrambling back up to the peak of the mountain. The sleigh ignored their desperate pleas to stop and continued slowly creeping towards the edge of the cliff. Barb dove over to the lower edge of the sleigh and grabbed onto a piece of metal sticking out.

As she dug her heels into the ground, trying to slow the sleigh's descent, Riff grabbed onto her waist and tried to help pull her and the sleigh back.

The sleigh refused to stop, the very tip teetering off the edge of thee ledge despite the Trolls' best efforts.

Barb groaned loudly, annoyed that her efforts were futile. 

"Oh well," she sighed, "at least it's just stuff."

As if the universe had decided to make matters worse, she noticed the little head of Tiny Diamond himself, sitting at the very top of the sack, waving down at her. "Hi, Miss Grinch!"

"Tiny???? What are you doing here, kid?" Barb called up to him, hoping he couldn't hear the concern for him in her voice.

"I came to see you!" He replied cheerfully. "No one should be alone on Christmas."

Barb's heart involuntarily fluttered as a genuine smile crept onto her face.

Tiny grinned back, overjoyed that he was getting through to her.

The sleigh lurched forward another inch, pulling everyone back to the situation at hand. 

Barb looked up at Tiny, who whimpered anxiously as the sack he sat upon began to lean towards the depths below.

She gritted her teeth and snarled. 

This kid wasn't allowed to get hurt. 

Not if she had anything to say about it. 

Using her sheer force of pure willpower, she began pulling with every fiber of strength she had, desperate to get this sleigh away from the cliff.

Riff, upon realizing that he not only was not helping, but also that Barb seemed to have a pretty good hold on the situation, removed himself from Barb's waist and instead took a different approach to helping: moral support. "You can do it, Barb! I know you can!"

With the severity of the situation, the intense desire to keep Tiny safe, and the support of her closest friend seemed to unlock something deep inside Barb: an inner strength she never knew she had. 

Straining every muscle she had, she pulled the sleigh away from the edge of the cliff and in fact managed to deadlift it all the way over her head. 

As her body threatened to give out, she roared in triumph.

"I got you, Tiny Diamond!" She screamed into the cold winter air, her spirits higher than they'd ever been. 

Tiny raised his tiny fists into the air. "You did it, Miss Binch!!!" You really did it!!!"

Riff punched the air excitedly, cheering, "Hell yeah, Barb! That's how ya do it!"

As fast as her aching limbs could manage, Barb turned the sleigh to face towards town. With the engine still empty , she'd have to use her old friend gravity to help fix her mistakes. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"HELL YEAH!!!!" Barb yelled as the sleigh jumped over a small crevice. Tiny Diamond raised his hands and squealed with excitement as the sleigh raced down the side of the mountain. Riff, perched atop the giant sack, stretched his arms out to his sides. 

"I'm flying, Barb!"

"I'm sure you are, Riff," She called back up, "just make sure you don't lose your ears!"

The trio sailed down Mount Crumpit with speed rivaling even the fastest of snowmobiles. Barb wove in and out of the treeline with such precision, you'd've thought she'd done it her whole life.

They jumped over bunny slopes and managed to hit a pair of unfortunate snowmen. The ride was so exhilarating, Barb wondered if she could maybe do this again sometime.

"Uh, hey, Barb?" Riff called down. "We're coming in kind of hot..."

"Hmmm, better deploy the brake," Barb mumbled, pulling a lever beside her.

A piece of metal lowered to the ground and scraped against it a few times before snapping off completely.

Barb blinked. "Well, shit. That's no good."

"We're gonna crash!!" Tiny screamed, clutching onto one of Barb's arms.

"Hey you listen to me, kid!" Barb asserted as she looked Tiny in the eye, "even if we end up horribly mangled, you're not allowed to be sad on Christmas." She poked him in the cheek, gaining a giggle in response as she shrugged and added, "Sorry, I don't make the rules."

The two of them, plus Riff, then proceeded to screech in terror as they barely managed to steer out of the way of an oncoming tree.

Down in the town, the townsfolk had all caught sight of the sleigh barreling towards them.

"They're coming in too fast, " Branch mumbled.

Poppy's eyes widened with realization. "They're gonna crash!"

Guy rubbed his hands together. "Not if we have anything to say about it. C'mon!" 

As he ran off to who knows where, Branch pointed at the side of a building. "The lights! Quick!!!"

As the sleight drew closer, Poppy and Branch grabbed either end of a string of lights Barb had missed and stretched it across the streets. 

"Everyone move out of the way!!!" Barb shouted at the Trolls running away. "I do not have insurance!!"

As the sleigh ran into the string of lights, Poppy and Branch held on as tightly as they could....

.....Which led to the sleigh dragging them along through the snowy streets as well.

As Barb struggled to steer the sleigh away from the fleeing townspeople, and as Branch and Poppy were dragged screaming through the streets, Guy had managed to gather up a small group of willing Trolls in front of the big Christmas tree.

They stood their ground as the sleigh began pummeling towards them.

"Daddy, look out!" Tiny cried.

"Yeah, Dad, get out of the way!" Barb agreed loudly. 

That's when Guy commanded his small fleet. "Now!!!"

Each Troll stretched out their hair and created a barrier in front of them, something that would get them to stop but still allow for a cushioned halt. And as the sleigh collided with it, it pushed against them for a moment as it slowed to a stop. A few Trolls, Guy included, slid back an inch or two from the impact, but other than that, they were able to hold their ground.

As the trolls retracted their hair, Tiny hopped up and waved excitedly. "Hi, Daddy!"

"Hi, son," Guy greeted back as he wrapped Tiny up in a big tight hug.

"Merry Christmas to all!" Barb called out to the town as they began to gather around the sleigh. 

The cop troll stepped up to the side of the sleigh. "Alright, what seems to be the situation here."

"I did it!" Barb declared confidently and without hesitation, much to the surprise of everyone. 

"Yeah, that's right! I'm the Binch that stole Christmas! And I..." Her face melted from sadistic pride to something a bit sadder, a bit guiltier, "I'm sorry." 

The crowd "aww"ed as she presented her wrists to the cop, preparing to be arrested for her wrongdoings.

The cop just stared at him.

Barb stared back. "What, you're not gonna cuff me? Put me in a chokehold? Blind me with pepper spray?!?"

"You heard her, Officer!" Creek chimed in, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. "She admitted it of her own free will!" He added in a lower voice, "Personally, I'd use the pepper spray...."

"I did in fact hear her," The cop confirmed. "She said she was sorry."

The crowd cheered as Barb grinned, knowing fully well that the next chance she got she was totally going to vandalize his car. Because cops suck, even if they seem nice sometimes. 

"Besides," the cop continued, "seems like everything is here and accounted for!"

"You gotta help me out here, folks," Creek begged the townspeople, trying to hide the desperation in his voice. His eyes lit up as a very specific Troll came walking towards him. "Poppy!"

She was covered head to toe in snow, as was Branch, who stood off to the side. She walked up to Creek and smiled, though there was something slightly off in her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Creek," she said, ice dripping in her voice. "I have a present for you." She pulled a small box out of her pocket and handed it to him.

"Here's your ring back."

Branch and Barb could barely contain their laughter at the look of pure shock and dissatisfaction Creek directed at the tiny box in his hand.

"Sorry," she continued, clearly not very sorry, "I've had my eye on someone else for a while now, actually." Her gave drifted towards Barb, who was still laughing at Creek and didn't notice at first. Then she noticed everyone staring at her and pointed at herself in disbelief. "M-Me?"

Poppy nodded, a huge grin creeping onto her face. 

Barb felt her eyes roll back into her head as she just straight up fainted, the crowd gasping as Riff stepped in to catch her. Noticing everyone's eyes on him, he shrugged and muttered. "Lesbians. Go figure, amirite?"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ok, just where do you guys think you're taking me? Barb attempted to lift the blindfold covering her eyes, but Poppy gently smacked her hand away as Tiny scolded, "Hands off, Miss Binch! You're gonna ruin the surprise!" 

"I told you, you can just call me Barb," she grumbled, but continued walking wherever these two were taking her.

She had awoken from passing out to find Tiny Diamond jumping up and down on her chest, squawking up a frenzy about some surprise he had for her: a Christmas present, if you will. She'd looked to Poppy for answers, but she just beamed and put a finger to her lips, effectively shushing her.

"You know," Poppy mentioned as she led Barb by the hand through the snowy streets, "this was all Tiny's idea."

"I'm sure it was," Barb muttered, "I hope it's better than that thing Creek called a present."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Barbie," Poppy assured her, clueless to the heat rising in Barb's face, "Tiny's present is _much_ better than anything you could possibly think of."

Before Barb could ask her to clarify a bit further, Poppy squealed, "We're here!" and she could hear Tiny's little feet run farther ahead of them in the snow.

A door opened and Tiny began talking to some guy whose voice she didn't recognize. She wasn't paying enough attention to understand what they were saying, but Tiny upon saying something, he sounded.... surprised? Were they even supposed to be there?

Barb felt as a set of minuscule fingers wrapped around her free hand and began leading her forward. "C'mon," Tiny said, "We're almost there!"

Barb gulped as she was led up some sort of ramp and into a room. She was shuffled around for a minute before Poppy sat her down in something soft and said, "Ok, you can take off the blindfold now."

"Finally." Barb tore it off and rubbed her eyes.

She was sitting on an old couch, the really ugly one made of denim, and found herself sitting in a living room with memorabilia from various hard rock performers covering every inch of the walls. An old dusty electric guitar sat in the loveseat a few feet way. 

Dumbfounded, she couldn't help but reach out from her seat and brush a bit of the dust off.

It was real. She was really here. 

"D-Did..." she stuttered, looking back at Poppy and Tiny, who sat on the couch next to her, "Did you really bring me here?"

Poppy nodded with a knowing smile. 

As tears began to swell in Barb's eyes, Tiny said, "Wait, there's more." He cupped his hands around his mouth and called down the hallway, "Hey, Sid! Now!"

The squeaking of wheels seemed to echo as Sid, whoever he was, made his way down the hallway.

As he came into view, Barb saw what the rest of her present was. Or rather, _who_ her present was.

"D-Daddy?!?!" Barb couldn't care less about the cracking in her voice as she addressed her father. 

As first, it didn't seem like he'd heard her. 

Slowly, hesitantly, Barb got to her feet and made her way over to her dad, ignoring the way Tiny, Poppy, and whoever Sid was all watching with baited breath.

As she leaned down to meet her dad's eye, Thrash still seemed to be unfocused.

"Daddy?" She asked, "Do-do you remember who I am?"

Thrash's eyes fell on Barb's face. He squinted as he stared at her, like he was trying to solve a very complicated puzzle.

After roughly a minute of staring, Thrash finally broke out into a smile.

"Ah, so nice of you to visit, Barbara."

Barb absolutely broke. She wrapped her arms around him as she buried herself in his chest, bawling.

Thrash hummed contently, placing one hand on his daughter's back and rubbing little circles into it, and using the other to soothingly run his fingers through her hair. 

Tiny was practically vibrating with joy, and Poppy pulled him in for a hug. "You really outdid yourself with this one, Tiny," she whispered, holding back the tears as she witnessed this beautiful moment, unlike Sid, who had to excuse himself to go cry.

"Oh, Barbara," Thrash cooed as he consoled his sobbing child, "I've missed you so much, my dear."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the sun set over in the distance, the town was essentially deserted: incredibly unusual during a Christmas day celebration.

Atop Mount Crumpit, however, a brilliant display of bright lights could be seen peeking out of the very tiniest of windows on Barb's front door.

Inside the cave, nearly the entirety of Pop Village had shuffled its way into the Binch's spacious home, with food and dancing and conversation filling the air with festive cheer. 

The Trolls had each brought something upon their arrival; mostly foods, but many also brought tables, chairs, and tablecloths, someone brought a loudspeaker, and a couple people actually brought presents for Barb and Riff, given that they really, hadn't received any in years. 

Barb stood off by the punch bowl, wearing her new vest as well as a pair of ripped black jeans she'd been gifted by someone. A couple hours ago, this many people just on the mountain would've set her off, let alone INSIDE OF HER HOUSE AND HOME. But now, somehow, it was ok. She neew these people were still cautious of her, so they wouldn't do anything drastic. The only person she would be worried about was Creek, but he straight up refused to come.

Probably for the best, considering that Branch wouldn't hesitate to punch his nose in if he so much as showed up.

Barb reached to grab the punch ladle and her hand bumped against a pink one.

"Oops! Sorry about that, hehe." Poppy pulled away and gestured to the ladle. "After you."

Barb desperately ignored the palpitations in her heart as she shakily poured herself a glass. "Are you, uh, enjoying the party?" She managed to ask.

Poppy nodded and chirped, "Oh yeah! I really love what you've done with the place! How'd you decorate so quickly?"

Shrugging, Barb replied, "Riff and Branch helped with a lot of it, but for the most part, people just brought me stuff and put it up themselves. Like, I offered to help and everything, but they insisted, and i quote, 'as a housewarming present.'" She smacked her lips and added, "They're only about 15 years late, but the thought was nice, haha."

Poppy giggled. "I guess they brought all the food, too?" She asked as she poured some punch for herself.

"Just about. Riff did make his special rock candy though. Think that might've been picked away, though."

"Awwww, maybe next time then."

Barb suddenly found the inside of her cup very interesting. 

There was a silence. It was short, but made Barb a little uncomfortable. She didn't want to bore Poppy.

That's why she asked, "So, did you really mean what you said earlier?" When Poppy gave her a confused look, Barb clarified, "When you said you liked me?" 

As Barb took a sip from her punch, Poppy slowly nodded. "I... I did. I've done a lot of thinking these past few days and I think...."

Barb was a little stunned looking at Poppy. She seemed.....nervous? Poppy wasn't usually the type of person that got nervous.

"....I don't think I've ever liked anyone as much as I like you."

The punch took a turn down the wrong pipe and Barb spit her punch back into her cup, coughing a little bit. Poppy reached out to help, but Barb held out her hand and managed to choke out, "I'm fine, I'm fine," as she coughed the remainder of the punch out of her lungs. 

Once she'd managed to remember how to breath air again, she turned to Poppy and asked, very softly, "Really?"

"Well, yeah. I never really had crushes growing up other than you. I dated around, but nothing ever really seemed to click. For a while, I actually thought I might be aromantic, like Guy, which would've been totally fine, in all honesty. But then Tiny mentioned you, and I guess it was like my emotional floodgates opened. I couldn't stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I tried. I guess I missed you a lot more than I remembered."

Barb laughed humorlessly. "Makes me feel a little bad about ruining your Christmas present and then disappearing all those years ago."

"Funny thing about that tree topper, actually," Poppy remembered, "I actually still have it."

"No way."

"Yes way! It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone's ever made for me, even if it was destroyed. I have all the pieces in a box somewhere."

"I could probably fix that for you, if you let me, that is."

"Really? You-you would do that for me?"

"I mean, I built a functioning sleigh in a few hours, I'm sure I can handle fixing something I already built once. Besides, I owe you for leaving for 15 years."

Poppy rolled her eyes as she chuckled, "You don't owe me anything."

Barb smirked. "Ok fine, I owe you for stealing Christmas, I could make it up to you by maybe taking you out for drinks sometime."

Poppy's face grew a dark shade, yet she still managed to flirtily respond, "Why, Barb! Did you just ask me out on a date?"

Now it was Barb's turn to flustered, struggling to stutter out, "Well, I, um, I mean, only if you, uh, wanted to, you know." Her gaze dropped to the ground.

Poppy smiled warmly, reaching out to cup Barb's cheek and making her look at her. "I would be honored to go on a date with you," she responded.

Barb couldn't stop the uncharacteristic giddy giggle that flew out of her throat. "Oh.....okay..." She managed to sputter out. 

Out of her peripheral vision, she noticed something darker above her, so naturally she looked up, causing Poppy to follow her gaze as well.

It was a piece of mistletoe attached to a string.

Snickers erupted from not too far away. Barb's head jerked towards the noise to find Riff, wearing a Santa hat over his dog ears and holding an old fishing pole, alongside Branch, who where looking at the ladies and waggling their eyebrows and making kissy faces towards them. 

Barb looked for a moment like she was going to go give them hell, but then she noticed Poppy, giving her an innocent look and occasionally glancing up at the mistletoe. Now these were signals even Barb could read.

"May I?"

Poppy nodded, and before Barb could really grasp what was going on, Poppy cupped her face in her hands and pulled her lips against her own. 

Barb froze for only a moment before melting into the kiss like butter, her arms wrapping tightly around her waist. 

It was a kiss that made the 15 years spent apart seem like no time at all, like they hadn't spent a single day apart, like they'd always been together.

Never in her life had Barb expected kissing someone to feel so natural, especially considering she'd never kissed anyone before./

Branch sighed contently at the sight, failing to notice Riff reeling the mistletoe back in. "Don't you just love it when everything works out like-" he started, turning to face Riff only to find a pair of lips on his own belonging to the furry holding the mistletoe above them.

The kiss was short, and that was probably for the best, at least for now. As Riff pulled away, Branch immediately shut down, lying down in a fetal position and covering his blushing face with his hands.

Riff pumped his fist in the air and cheered, "Yes! I made the first move!" Turning around to find Branch on the floor, he asked with concern, "Uh, dude? Are you okay?"

Branch could only manage a thumbs up.

Riff grabbed his hand with a smile, and despite Branch becoming even more flustered, he didn't pull his hand away. 

And as Barb dragged Poppy to a more secluded hallway of the cave, not to far as to miss when dinner was announced, but far enough that they wouldn't be disturbed, and as their passionate lips danced against each other, like they were making up for lost time, Barb couldn't help but think, _There really is nothing like thee holiday season_.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaand that's the end folks! Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me, and I hope you enjoyed this slightly longer chapter. Ideally I'll work on finishing the crescendo fic i never finished after this, but my buddy Nick that enabled me into writing this mentioned a School of Rock au (based on the 2003 movie not the tv show) so there's a solid 50/50 chance i will write something based off that lol. Feel free to check out my other works but other than that, we're all set here. I'll see yall next time
> 
> -CC

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even like christmas why am I writing this? oh yeah that's right, because if i don't its going to bug me until it kills me. I wanted at least the first part to be posted before christmas so consider this yalls ongoing christmas present until its finished. hope you enjoy
> 
> -CC


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